Alone

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Alone…

You never have thought of the concept alone before, but as you are in your bed, unable to sleep your mind starts to wander. You think about what you did or what you are going to do tomorrow. Then, you start to think of darker subjects, subjects you wish you had never thought of. You wonder if you are the only one if the house awake at this hour. You wonder if you are the only one awake…in your room. Right there you hear small and subtle creaks in your kitchen.

Right away you pass it off as just the wind. But then you hear it again, this time you know it can’t be, I mean just a second ago there was no wind but a breeze. Maybe you’re imagining it, yeah it has to be that; I mean no one else is awake and you’re certain you locked the door. Minutes seem like hours and you hear the creak again! But this time it seems closer, how could it? Your imagination and mind are playing tricks I mean you live in a good neighborhood, there’s never any crime here. Your thoughts are cut off mid sentence as you hear the noise which seems to be just out your door!

Without hesitation you throw your heavy comforter over your head to protect you. You’re breaking out in a cold sweat, thinking over and over again “There’s nothing there.” Then, you hear the small somewhat nonexistent creak of your door. The sound rips through your mind for what seems like hours. You want to check, but, if you do you could meet face to face with someone or something. So you just shut your eyes as tight as you can, trying as hard as you can to just go to sleep, just leave this nightmare.

Hours go by without a single noise, your heart beat is slowing and down. You start to think how stupid you were to think something was there. As you lift your covers off, you freeze and just hear one last thing.

“You shouldn’t be up.”


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52 Comments on 'Alone'

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  • Commented on January 23, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    i like these type of pastas when they end with a character saying something super creepy

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  • Commented on January 26, 2015 at 2:54 am

    I really hate that my head is under my covers right now. (Whispers) great pasta ; )

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  • Thunder2821
    Commented on January 11, 2016 at 9:20 pm

    you shouldn’t be up That’s me getting caught on my computer at 3 am every night

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  • Commented on January 28, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    Very tasty pasta, made a great little snack.

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  • Commented on April 30, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    Overall a good pasta, but try to avoid the repetition of phrases- “I mean” is used at least three times in the same paragraph, so try to spice it up a bit so that your audience doesn’t get bored. Creepy, though, so good job!

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  • Commented on January 23, 2015 at 3:49 pm

    I enjoyed this a lot, I really like these kinds of Pastas, verry suspenseful, very real, a scare that you can’t put off as unprobable. I find these more scary and enjoyable than any ‘creature’ pasta. Well done bud.

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  • Commented on June 16, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    That first word that introduces your story was just really powerful. It gives your story its tone and feeling before you get into any of the story. “Alone…” just masterful. Keep up the great work!

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  • Commented on November 5, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    whats funny is this can be some creeper or just the person’s mom scaring the shit out of them. Either way this was a good pasta.

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  • Commented on January 23, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    yay, approved : D It’s pretty nice, nothing bad about the pasta。

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  • Commented on January 25, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    ugh.. so creepy, got me the chills o_o BUT I LIKED IT ^_^!

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  • Commented on June 27, 2015 at 6:37 am

    A most excellent MicroPasta! A perfect snack before bedtime.

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  • Commented on August 12, 2015 at 11:43 am

    yeah i think that too i should be sleeping, plz close the door on your way out ima sleep.

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  • Commented on November 30, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    It was his MOM!!!

    lol, very good pasta 4/5

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  • Commented on September 9, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    I enjoy an ambiguous ending.

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  • Commented on June 16, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    Creepy story

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  • Commented on July 23, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    That was solo good it gave me chills

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  • Kit
    Commented on August 1, 2015 at 5:25 am

    Holy christ that was awesome!!

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  • Commented on September 25, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Nice little pasta! I enjoyed it.

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  • Commented on October 6, 2015 at 12:43 am

    Well I can relate to this and that creeps me out because I sleep in a dark room with one door so for relation to my life +4 the creepy quote at the end +5 and the build up +1 congrats 10/10

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  • Commented on December 9, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    Yup i’m not sleeping tonight.

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  • Commented on May 5, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    Great pasta “you shouldn’t be up sent shivers down my spine and i always hear creaking at night

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  • Commented on May 27, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    This is amazing. Keep up the good work!

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  • Commented on June 4, 2016 at 7:22 am

    Beautifully written~

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  • Mimi
    Commented on January 28, 2015 at 1:46 am

    Good pasta. Real creepy… Still got shivers

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  • Commented on January 29, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    This was really detailed and descriptive. Although a little short, I think that it was a scary yet awesome pasta

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  • Commented on April 27, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    X_X i liked it, i like the way i can relate

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  • Commented on June 16, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    Well this is how i feel all of the time here.

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  • Commented on July 7, 2015 at 10:09 am

    Very descriptive and full of suspense, I think it should have been longer though.

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  • Commented on October 7, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    I reviewed this pasta, and I submitted it because the story was good. However, my suggestion is correcting the grammer, because something seems off. Anyways, overall good pasta 3/5

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  • Commented on October 28, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    Pretty good, keep up the good work.

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  • Commented on December 3, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    HA

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  • Commented on February 3, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    Great pasta, iv’e had that same situation (except “you shoundnt be up” part) very well done!

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  • Commented on July 28, 2016 at 7:04 am

    Great pasta , i like the end

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  • Commented on October 18, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    The vivid descriptions of “my” thoughts when I’m awake in bed just matches me perfectly. I tend to lie awake in my bed for hours before finally drifting off to sleep and these are the exact thoughts I have every night.

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  • Hello
    Commented on November 9, 2016 at 11:28 pm

    You never know who it could be, You should never know who it could be Because you shouldn’t be up.

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  • Commented on January 29, 2015 at 9:48 am

    I’ve read a lot of similar stories like this one. Ones about being alone with a heavy tension building while the main character is in bed. Sometimes its a knock on the window, sometimes its an eerrie silence. However, in the end someone was there watching in the first place

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  • Commented on February 26, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    I actually think this was creepy in a way… 8/10

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  • Commented on June 24, 2015 at 11:42 pm

    Very nicely written

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  • Commented on October 28, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    IT WAS MR. SKELETAL…….. doot doot

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  • Commented on November 18, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Have to rate 5 stars
    Loved It

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  • Commented on November 28, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    Brilliant work! 10/10!

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  • Commented on July 2, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    I like the beginning and how relatable it was, but the end was a little generic

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  • Commented on August 28, 2016 at 5:09 am

    Well… That got me off my computer at 3 am. I really liked this, and the last part scared the fuck outta me. Especially since I live in an old house where the floors always creak in every room.

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  • Commented on September 16, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    Very enjoyable
    good job! 🙂
    4/5 😀

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  • kaleigh
    Commented on November 10, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    Yep. Not going to be able to sleep again.
    (walks away watching over my shoulder)

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  • Commented on November 11, 2016 at 9:56 am

    REALLY good,vshort film material

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  • Pinetree's Revenge
    Commented on October 28, 2015 at 12:26 am

    Very nice. I think he build up is done perfectly. A few things are confusing to me, though. 1. The creaking. How would the main character know it was something back? He only amused it was a monster. 2. The ending. What do you mean “The list thing I heard” Did the character die? 3. The lack of nice comments. This one speaks for itself :3. 8.5/10

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  • Commented on April 24, 2016 at 11:37 am

    I kind of, well somehow, yes, related in a lot of ways of your pasta. I love it, so much!!

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  • Commented on August 28, 2016 at 5:10 am

    Well… That got me off my computer at 3 am. I really liked this, and the last part scared the hell outta me. Especially since I live in an old house where the floors always creak in every room.

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  • Commented on January 25, 2015 at 10:40 am

    These kinds of stories typically rely on heavy atmosphere and solid writing to be creepy. This story sadly doesn’t have either. There’s a lot of grammar mistakes, which distracts me from any immersion this story was trying to tell.

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  • Commented on May 27, 2015 at 12:12 am

    Well written. It didn’t seem like it had much of a point though :/

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  • Commented on January 28, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    What if It was his parents or his girlfriend? Really not that creepy
    Could’ve done better bro

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