You never have thought of the concept alone before, but as you are in your bed, unable to sleep your mind starts to wander. You think about what you did or what you are going to do tomorrow. Then, you start to think of darker subjects, subjects you wish you had never thought of. You wonder if you are the only one if the house awake at this hour. You wonder if you are the only one awake…in your room. Right there you hear small and subtle creaks in your kitchen.
Right away you pass it off as just the wind. But then you hear it again, this time you know it can’t be, I mean just a second ago there was no wind but a breeze. Maybe you’re imagining it, yeah it has to be that; I mean no one else is awake and you’re certain you locked the door. Minutes seem like hours and you hear the creak again! But this time it seems closer, how could it? Your imagination and mind are playing tricks I mean you live in a good neighborhood, there’s never any crime here. Your thoughts are cut off mid sentence as you hear the noise which seems to be just out your door!
Without hesitation you throw your heavy comforter over your head to protect you. You’re breaking out in a cold sweat, thinking over and over again “There’s nothing there.” Then, you hear the small somewhat nonexistent creak of your door. The sound rips through your mind for what seems like hours. You want to check, but, if you do you could meet face to face with someone or something. So you just shut your eyes as tight as you can, trying as hard as you can to just go to sleep, just leave this nightmare.
Hours go by without a single noise, your heart beat is slowing and down. You start to think how stupid you were to think something was there. As you lift your covers off, you freeze and just hear one last thing.
“You shouldn’t be up.”
58 Comments on 'Alone'
yay, approved : D It’s pretty nice, nothing bad about the pasta。
I enjoyed this a lot, I really like these kinds of Pastas, verry suspenseful, very real, a scare that you can’t put off as unprobable. I find these more scary and enjoyable than any ‘creature’ pasta. Well done bud.
i like these type of pastas when they end with a character saying something super creepy
These kinds of stories typically rely on heavy atmosphere and solid writing to be creepy. This story sadly doesn’t have either. There’s a lot of grammar mistakes, which distracts me from any immersion this story was trying to tell.
ugh.. so creepy, got me the chills o_o BUT I LIKED IT ^_^!
I really hate that my head is under my covers right now. (Whispers) great pasta ; )
Good pasta. Real creepy… Still got shivers
What if It was his parents or his girlfriend? Really not that creepy
Could’ve done better bro
Very tasty pasta, made a great little snack.
I’ve read a lot of similar stories like this one. Ones about being alone with a heavy tension building while the main character is in bed. Sometimes its a knock on the window, sometimes its an eerrie silence. However, in the end someone was there watching in the first place
This was really detailed and descriptive. Although a little short, I think that it was a scary yet awesome pasta
I actually think this was creepy in a way… 8/10
X_X i liked it, i like the way i can relate
Overall a good pasta, but try to avoid the repetition of phrases- “I mean” is used at least three times in the same paragraph, so try to spice it up a bit so that your audience doesn’t get bored. Creepy, though, so good job!
Well written. It didn’t seem like it had much of a point though :/
Well this is how i feel all of the time here.
That first word that introduces your story was just really powerful. It gives your story its tone and feeling before you get into any of the story. “Alone…” just masterful. Keep up the great work!
Very nicely written
A most excellent MicroPasta! A perfect snack before bedtime.
Very descriptive and full of suspense, I think it should have been longer though.
That was solo good it gave me chills
Holy christ that was awesome!!
yeah i think that too i should be sleeping, plz close the door on your way out ima sleep.
I enjoy an ambiguous ending.
Nice little pasta! I enjoyed it.
Well I can relate to this and that creeps me out because I sleep in a dark room with one door so for relation to my life +4 the creepy quote at the end +5 and the build up +1 congrats 10/10
I reviewed this pasta, and I submitted it because the story was good. However, my suggestion is correcting the grammer, because something seems off. Anyways, overall good pasta 3/5
Very nice. I think he build up is done perfectly. A few things are confusing to me, though. 1. The creaking. How would the main character know it was something back? He only amused it was a monster. 2. The ending. What do you mean “The list thing I heard” Did the character die? 3. The lack of nice comments. This one speaks for itself :3. 8.5/10
Pretty good, keep up the good work.
IT WAS MR. SKELETAL…….. doot doot
whats funny is this can be some creeper or just the person’s mom scaring the shit out of them. Either way this was a good pasta.
Have to rate 5 stars
Brilliant work! 10/10!
It was his MOM!!!
lol, very good pasta 4/5
Yup i’m not sleeping tonight.
you shouldn’t be up That’s me getting caught on my computer at 3 am every night
Great pasta, iv’e had that same situation (except “you shoundnt be up” part) very well done!
I kind of, well somehow, yes, related in a lot of ways of your pasta. I love it, so much!!
Great pasta “you shouldn’t be up sent shivers down my spine and i always hear creaking at night
This is amazing. Keep up the good work!
I like the beginning and how relatable it was, but the end was a little generic
Great pasta , i like the end
Well… That got me off my computer at 3 am. I really liked this, and the last part scared the fuck outta me. Especially since I live in an old house where the floors always creak in every room.
Well… That got me off my computer at 3 am. I really liked this, and the last part scared the hell outta me. Especially since I live in an old house where the floors always creak in every room.
good job! 🙂
The vivid descriptions of “my” thoughts when I’m awake in bed just matches me perfectly. I tend to lie awake in my bed for hours before finally drifting off to sleep and these are the exact thoughts I have every night.
You never know who it could be, You should never know who it could be Because you shouldn’t be up.
Yep. Not going to be able to sleep again.
(walks away watching over my shoulder)
REALLY good,vshort film material
Solid build up but the ending was disappointing
pussy boy, you shouldn’t even be in my house. don’t worry about me, mind ya buisness. I ENJOYED THIS THOUGH.
I feel like you could fix some grammar mistakes such as cutting off sentences so they don’t exactly make sense and it’s not your fault but the ending was lacking something special to really finish it off. But overall I enjoyed! 3/5
Man, that was really good!! can i pls make it into a short film? PLEASE!!!!
The most comforting thing to read at 230 am laying awake in your bed lol
Oh man, cuz sleeping isn’t hard enough! This was good and creepy. Well written.