Alone and Alone

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I looked in the empty room for a sign that I wasn’t alone. I didn’t want to feel alone. Companionship has been lacking in my life for so long and I don’t even know what it means to love someone anymore. I am a metal barred door trying to close but inevitably there is the door-stopper, never allowing me to get past.

I sat down. In a room with no doors and no chairs, the floor was my canvas. My finger acted as the pen, as I drew and drew, illustrating the prisons of my mind. Letting go wasn’t an answer, as my creations grew more vivid. Time passed and I had created an entire world of missed deadlines, broken hearts, and empty souls. My life’s work, something I could be proud of.

I heard a bell ring and in came my lunch, through a small panel in the white wall. No words, no friends, just peace.

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21 Comments on 'Alone and Alone'

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  • Commented on January 13, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    add more spice

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  • Commented on January 17, 2015 at 8:36 am

    I think the concept can definitely be developed upon, but the story is just too short for me to really feel anything. There was no build-up, no character to become attached to, and no hook for me to bite onto to become reeled into your story. It feels empty.

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  • Commented on May 16, 2015 at 3:01 pm

    It’s a good concept of insanity but I think it needs more depth to actually effect the reader.

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  • Commented on April 13, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    I think this story would be better if it had more depth so the story could bloom nicely.

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  • Commented on June 19, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    Mmmmmm, too empty for me. It’s a good skeleton, but there is almost nothing to it. 3/10 breads.

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  • Commented on October 30, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    I like how its short and is preety cool with the metaphors I think it would be a cool poem.

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  • Commented on November 5, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    It’s cool, a bit short but I like how [It represents life in prison]. 3/5

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  • Commented on July 19, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    This could definitely be developed, but was brilliantly written! Liked it a lot

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  • Commented on November 16, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    It was good for a short story, I loved it but it could be more longer and detailed

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  • Commented on January 28, 2016 at 11:38 am

    Its good but needs more detail. Like, how did he get there?.. 8/10.

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  • Commented on April 8, 2016 at 11:02 am

    I wad expecting that the person would see someone or something else but now I’m disappointed

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  • Commented on October 18, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    Don’t wanna be rude but this was, well, kind of…dull.

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  • Commented on May 8, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    Asylum……. Heard it before, but does anyone read pandora hearts here? Because this sounds like Echo’s situation.

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  • Commented on June 15, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    The concept is great, but as many others have said it could be so much better if it was developed.

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  • Commented on October 21, 2016 at 4:57 am

    It’s a bit disappointing and can be hard to write great content in a space so short. I would recommend if there isn’t enough in the physical realm of the setting to write about then perhaps you could take us inside the mind of the person. Who are they, what kind of person are they, and what kibd of mental processing went into the image that it is said they drew on the canvas. By all means the mystery of where they are is nice and leaves it only to assumption but it would be so much more fun had there been more for us to go on and draw our own theories and conclusions. 2/5 Stars from me but don’t get discouraged. Take the criticism with a grain of salt and use that as drive to improve and fully develop the story more before posting so that it may blossom into something astounding rather than be presented a tad…. withered and dry.

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  • Commented on October 26, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    wait what just happend

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  • Commented on November 24, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    It was a good concept to start with, but there wasn’t enough time to get into it. It could definitely be creepier if some more details were added or if it was just a tad longer. Maybe adding what they were using to draw could help (were they drawing with blood, old food they hadn’t eaten, or something else entirely?). It was still pretty good though.

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  • Commented on January 25, 2016 at 10:00 pm

    A little low on the detail, but I can see how this would be creepy.

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  • Commented on November 5, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    This sounds like it was written by the goth kids from South Park.

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  • MrsKiller
    Commented on October 4, 2015 at 9:55 pm

    i Liked it! it just needs to be longer and more… detailed…? yeah

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  • Commented on May 15, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    boringggggggggggg blahhh

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