For the longest time I’ve turned to ASMR to help relax me. ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It’s basically a brain orgasm that is triggered by personal attention, tapping sounds, deliberate tasks, ear or microphone covering— well there’s a multitude of things that can trigger that sort of response. It’s been my go to for anxiety for the last couple of months. You can find these videos easy enough on youtube. I usually listen to MassageASMR before bed.
But as I laid there, listening to an inaudible whispering video, I started to feel a bit chillier than usual, so I decided to get up and grab a sweater. My window was open, and it was a bit of a colder night. Anyway, I took my headphones off and set them aside. When I went to pause the video, I realized that it had frozen. Sometimes our connection is a bit shoddy. I was listening for about 30 minutes, so I guess that could explain it. My internet had been trying to load an hour long video. Still, it should have loaded by now, right? I decided to click near the beginning of the video to back up and just listen to the same 30 minutes before bed. When I hovered over the progress bar, however, I noticed that the video had never played passed the first ten minutes.
In retrospect I should have realized something was wrong when I thought I could feel the breath on my ears.