You lay in your bed, comfortably, staring at your ceiling. Your air conditioning is whirring, allowing you to completely relax and slowly drift into sleep.
Just as you start to fall asleep your air conditioner cuts off. You can hear everything. You have a relatively large room. You’re starting to become uncomfortable, but instead of moving to get into a better position you lay still. Almost frozen.
Your body begins to tighten while you’re listening to your house settle. You just realize this and force yourself to relax, lay in bed as relaxed as possible, trying to get into sleep paralysis because you want to experience astral projection for the first time. You don’t want to move because you might mess up your progress in forcing yourself into sleep paralysis. Slowly you begin to relax again as you hear all different kinds of sounds around you, things like your name being called or creaking beds. But you’ve read up on what you’re getting into, so you push it to the side, thinking it will pass. You then begin to hear your name much louder and clearer, but only for a second.
Then you hear foot steps. At this point your mind is making up all kinds of things, just to make yourself feel better and not freak out.
After a bit of struggling to calm down you finally relax. You steady your breathing and relax your body once more. This time you hear foot steps coming down your stairs. You don’t want to open your eyes, but you do. You lay there confused. You can’t move. Only your eyes can move around. It’s harder to breath. You see darkness, nothing but darkness. It’s so dark it seems like your eyes are closed. You blink rapidly a few times just to make sure your eyes are open and for a quick second you see it. You see yellow eyes and the whitest and sharpest teeth you have ever seen. You then jump up in a panic, desperately trying to catch your breath. It feels like you just had someone on your chest for hours. Your arms are sore and your body aches. But at the same time you feel weightless. You get out of bed and go to switch on your light. You can’t. You try to open your drawer and you can’t. Everything you try to do doesn’t work. You turn around and instantly freeze. You don’t know what you’re really looking at. All you know is there is a dark mass over your bed. You finally realize what is going on. All that research about astral projection. You can’t turn on light switches when you astral project. Nothing works.
You now understand what is going on, but still you have no clue what is over your bed.. You get closer and see your body under this horrific beast. It isn’t doing anything other than just staring at you. Then it turns it’s head and looks dead at you, smiles and says “So, my dear boy. Is this what you wanted?” and as soon as that vile creature utters it’s last words you jump back into your body and you wake up.
16 Comments on 'Astral Projection'
This was definately good. You have the ability to write well. However, try and write this again from a first-person perspective. Describe what you are feeling. I used to write a lot of these You ly on the… you feel ….. and they always got rejected. When I began writing in the first person, They were accepted. The only one that ever made it is What Really Watches You in the Dark. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV3JxVsGunA Nice job though. Keep it up! You have talent.
I think the risk of writing in the second person is that it’s easier for the audience to disconnect from the writing. If someone says to me, “You feel x and do y” I get pulled out of the pasta if I don’t feel like I would react that way. Very few second person narratives work for me, for this reason. Second person can work, it just needs to be executed very carefully. First and third person are perhaps a better choice for most pastas.
I liked it but also i had a dream almost exactly like this but instead of “So, my dear boy. Is this what you wanted? it had said something like “Whom You miss will consume your life and darkness will fill your breath.”
This pasta was fantastic, i just wish it was a little longer.
No offense, but this was not very good. What kept wanting to actually go back to sleep instead of stay up in fear of a dark figure standing over me, was how you described it in second person. It just made everything awkward, like you were telling me how “I” would react, instead your or a separate character’s reaction. You have talent, and I think you can make the second person perspective work, you just need to be very delicate on your wording when you write a story, I’m not saying I could do better, I am saying I know you can better.
This actually gave me chills because I’ve experienced something very similar to this.
I was reading this quietly out loud to myself, laying in bed, and when I got to, “Just as you start to fall asleep your air conditioner cuts off,” my air conditioning went off…
awesome never give up i hope to read more by you one day
I really enjoyed this pasta. When you brought the creature into it i instantly got chills down my spine. Overall rating is 10/10
The second person POV seems to take you out of the writing, instead try using a first person POV to make it seem like YOU are in the creepy pasta
This was a great pasta! I got the chills. 10/10
I read the line from the creature in Pegasus’ voice from Yu-Gi-Oh! And ruined it for myself.
What the… !!!
The story of this creepypasta is pretty awesome… and i love it
The living creature in the story makes me smile because that creature has something different and that’s why i love it
No. No I don’t.
cool beans dude.