I ran straight to the super market when I heard about the nuclear strike. The government said that a deadly disease was spreading were I lived, and that the were going to eliminate anyone who had it. When I got to the store, I saw that almost all of the canned foods were gone, infact, almost everything was gone. I grabbed all of the cans I could carry, ran outside to my car, and realized it was not enough to keep me alive in my bomb shelter.
Wondering what I would do, the nuclear strike being imminent, I saw a woman and two small children loading a van with food cans. They had enough to survive years, I thought. I ran too the woman and asked if I could have some of the cans. “I’m sorry, I have more people to feed at my house, I can’t spare any.” She told me.
Walking back to my car disapointed, I stepped on something, I looked down to see I steped on a screw driver. That’s when I got the idea. I bent down and picked it up, and looked toward the woman, still loading the van with the canned foods. I needed that food. So, I walked over to the woman. “I’m sorry!” She said to me. “I can’t spare an-” she was cut off by the screwdriver I rammed into her chest.
“I’m sorry…” I said as she slowly died. Her children were gone, I don’t know were they went, and I didn’t care. I shut the hatch on the back of the van, jummped in, and drove back to my house. In the street, there were people begging me to let me in the van. The nuclear bomb would hit soon, and there was no room, so I kept driving. When they started trying to block the van, I floored it. I don’t know how many people I ran over.
I jumped out of the van, now crimsion, and started unpacking the cans into the bombshelter. it took about an hour, so by the time I got all of the cans into the bombshelter, I saw the planes. I ran into the bombshlter, and after a few minuets, I heard a extreamly loud bang. then nothing. It would be a few months till the raddiation cleared up, so I sat down. I was hungry, so I picked up a can. That’s when I realized I left the canopener in my house.
126 Comments on 'Canned Food'
That last sentence made me rate this a 5/5
Ha! Thats what you get for killing the woman!
He could have opened it by smashing it on the ground,
The end of this is worth every single word you read.
I like how the story throws everything at us right from the beginning, spending paragraphs and paragraphs setting up exposition is kind of monotones. (Not saying it isn’t sometimes needed though.) I give it 8/10
This would be the story of my life.
It wasn’t very scary or suspenseful, but the ending was funny Xx
I shouldn’t have laughed, but I did. That’s really what he deserved!
Now THAT’S scary. Love it!
Should’ve kept the screwdriver XD
Love the ending. Awesome.
Well that goes unexpected. 5/5
Perfect.
Probably woulda done the same, loved the story although there were some minor spelling errors that made a couple sentences hard understand and needed to take a second look.
This is hilarious! The story builds up a situation, with a twist in the ending. I loved it.
That’s karma at it’s finest.
It IS more comical than scary 🙂 but I do love a good “joke” in a morbid context
I was laughing like mad but hey this is a cool story i like.
lol
Didn’t spook me, but it did make me laugh, so I’ll give it a 3/5.
I was honestly NOT expecting that, and it had me laughing my ass off for a bit. 5/5.
lol dfq
Me at the end: KARMA’S A BITCH
That’s exactly what i’d do. Kill everyone for food and shelter and then realize that I forgot the can opener. That’s probably what my future holds for me. Congrats, you’re now a Fortune teller.
This story definitely is an “Oh Shit” moment, but all jokes aside, this was a pretty good short and to the point story. Personally, I would have added a little more gore and detail of the bomb in the story, but that’s just because I like to paint pictures into people’s minds. 4/5
this is so me
Truly funny in my option
amazing so me
Well thats what he gets for killing that poor mother and taking her food. If he just left her alone then he would be fine. 5/5
I thought it was a little weak til the end. That ending made it though.
karma’s a bitch xD
It reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode, Time Enough at Last.
That would be my luck
After reading the comments and thinking, what about this: If he hadn’t killed her, she would’ve died from the nukes. She never mentioned a fallout shelter, and didnt sound like she had one…
Not really scary but it’s still great. And can he open the can by just scraping it on stone or concrete?
Always pack a can-opener in the bomb-shelter. LOL XD
That’s pretty funny. I like a creepypasta where it’s a scary and awful story plot, but funny ending
Wow what a story!
The story itself is creepy but with a funny ending. I like when horror and humor meet.
Tasty pasta with a side of irony
Utterly delightful, this MicroPasta had me in stitches! My only critique would be that I feel stabbing the woman in the neck rather than the chest would have been a bit more realistic.
This is very good
reminds me of 60 seconds, they never grab a can opener, but they eat almost exclusively from cans. Luckily this couldn’t happen to me, because my canines are sharp enough to open a can, at least enough to get food out of it. But this was an awesome pasta and I’ll recommend it to anyone who says that they could survive a nuclear fallout.
It would take MUCH more than a few months for radiation to dissipate. Try maybe 20,000 years
eats the cans instead..
I loved the dark element to it, I think the comedic ending was okay but didn’t work well with the darkness it had begun with
I really like this creepypasta, but there are a couple problems. One, there’s a lot of spelling mistakes. Second, I’m pretty sure this doesn’t qualify as “tiny.” But it’s funny when he leaves the can opener in the house!
karma.
Assuming that the shelters made of concrete, or at least the floor of the shelter is, it would be hard to open the cans without a can opener
That ending though. xD
Nice story and worthy ending, just a few minute issues. It seems a little lazy to just let the kids disappear. And pity about the typos.
I love the irony. Really funny.
whoops! dumbass
I wonder if the woman would have died if she would have offered the man a single can of food.
What do you guys think?
Ah that old chestnut, sometimes the small things are overlooked.
story of my life
Well kids this is what happens when you leave home without a can opener.
awesome.10/10.[you should read this story, Better lock that door…]
he forgot the can opener… amazing 10/10 honestly
This is something that I would most likely do xD This pasta entertained me 10/10
omfg lol dummy
Karma?
Didn’t expect that ending. My eyes lit up when I read the last sentence. Loved it 10/10
this describes me in any end of the world situation, and i love the sick humor
That last sentence is golden.
Its kind of sad…
YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND, THIS WOULD BE EXACTLY ME!!! You do all of that work, then forget one of the most important things.
I like the idea of the nuclear bombs. It gave great background imagery and made the story really good.
Wow that would be me.
Really good, the ending had me laughing, but besides that – you have very few spelling and grammar mistakes but thats it. Overall – 5/5 though I wish it was a bit longer 🙁
I know a friend who I GUARANTEE would go to that extreme just to screw up like that. Also, why didn’t he just grab the screwdriver he used to kill the woman to open it, or, better yet, just throw it at a wall? That would work. Hopefully. OH GOD MY APOCALYPSE CAN PLAN MIGHT NOT WORK WITHOUT A CAN OPENER SHAT!!
I don’t think it was meant to be scary to be honest, I think it’s like that “WHO WAS PHONE!!!” story that was just for lols.
totaly me
There’s a lot more ways to open a can than with a can opener. If you scrape the can against the ground long enough the rim will be ground down far enough where you can just remove the rim. I know that’s not the point, the joke here is you go to extremes, and then end up dying anyways. The reason all of this is hidden is because it all pertains to the story, since it’s only a short paragraph.
He got what he diserved, karma just rekt him so hard.
WOW SOO CREEPY…he left the can opener !!!! oh no I’m like so scared I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep anymore
The concept of this story is what is truly frightening, both on the ends that he murdered a woman and left her children and that even after he is gonna starve
I give it a 7.8 out of ten.
Serves the bastard right haha but this was good, I liked it!
I laughed so hard when I read this. \(‘O’)/
Lol “oops well now im gonna die lol” srsly shouldve kept screwdriver, i grew really attached to that tool.
COULD YOU FORGET A CAN OPENER? But to be honest, that would be me lol
*5 minutes later still laughing. Then realizes he forgot about monster in house. *turns around: yup. right behind him. * 10/10 Loved it
This pasta made me smile. I loved it. 9 cans of food out of 10.
Not creepy but hilarious.
I have to say….that was hilariously creepy, very good quick pasta! 🙂
Just…i would have used the screwdriver to open the cans, lol
Great Job! 🙂
4/5
This is not scary or creepy. This is funny lol
funny. but in a survival situation you can find a smooth piece of concrete and rub the top of the can back and fourth upside down and the lid will cleanly pop off
This was just funny (apart from when he killed the woman)
The real horror comes when you read the last line.
I liked this….
but there are ways around forgetting that item 😉 for those playing at home
Lol
That ending…just no xD
There are infinite ways to open a can
Simplest is by crazyrussianhacker
Rub it in concrete…then press it…
Karma in can
He still has the screwdriver?
Not the can opener!
This is a unique pasta, though I would only rate 4.5/10 for pasta rating, but a good 9/10 for comedy.
Even thought it wasn’t that scary, it gave me a little jump when he murdered the mom other than that, it was pretty funny
I literally froze when it said ‘I left the can opener in my house’
This is just hilaraious
Sweet karma
I absolutely love this creepy pasta. it was tense and was very comical at the end.
I started reading this and thought it would be the same as all the other stories, with monsters trying to break in or something. When I read the ending, I literally started laughing IN CLASS! 5/5
Lol, what a idiot.
Try not to laugh
Terrible grammar, I didn’t think I would make it to the end with all the spelling mistakes. The last line gave me half a chuckle
Lots of comments for just a tiny pasta…. Around here, bad or good, that means good o.0
Lmfao this is me ahaha
Hm. If this would have been in the same universe as ‘Fallout’ then. Why doesn’t hope for the best and go outside after the explosion and hope the can opener is intact? Hm. Down this comment if you want. I dealt with internet hate before.
kids never forget the can opener
how could he posshibly do thish? hmhm maybe he should be more prepared for thish nuclear attack. you could alwaysh use a licenshe plate to open the cansh and there was a big pile of licenshe plates in his bomb shelter.
Well, I expected something corny but this is a real life problem.
wow i find it funny in a evil way 5 stars
it wasn’t exactly creepy but it had a pretty good storyline, and was pretty relasitc i could see that happening, and it was funny, so i would give tan honest 7/10
i like it but i think it should go more into the emotions of killing someone or having your morality compromised rather than just glancing over it.
couldn’t the dude use a hammer or something to open the cans?
This is awesome. So simple but so good.
So ironic, completely describes what I would do.althought most likely I would forget the canned foods and have the can opener
OMFG AT THE END THERE WAS AN AD ABOUT WHAT FOODS TO STAY AWAY FROM OMG LOL
haha 10 outta 10 i LOVED it good job!
Wonder what happened to the kids?
It will be little mistakes like this that will cause humanity to die out in a situation like this, lmao. This is ALL of us!! Hahaha!!!
LMAO rip guy
5/5 NOT THE CAN OPENER X”D
Sooo what about the water? I think that might be alittle more important don’t ya think?
ha!! — oh fek…
i loved this so much i love the way it ended
5/5
I would’ve given this a 4/5, but I dropped my rating to 3/5 because of all of the spelling errors. I honestly would’ve given this a better rating if it was better quality.
Also, I was not expecting the twist at the end. I would not have thought that he would leave the can opener at his house!
Karma hitting you hard, eh?
plot twist!