Canned Food

22,598 views

I ran straight to the super market when I heard about the nuclear strike. The government said that a deadly disease was spreading were I lived, and that the were going to eliminate anyone who had it. When I got to the store, I saw that almost all of the canned foods were gone, infact, almost everything was gone. I grabbed all of the cans I could carry, ran outside to my car, and realized it was not enough to keep me alive in my bomb shelter.

Wondering what I would do, the nuclear strike being imminent, I saw a woman and two small children loading a van with food cans. They had enough to survive years, I thought. I ran too the woman and asked if I could have some of the cans. “I’m sorry, I have more people to feed at my house, I can’t spare any.” She told me.

Walking back to my car disapointed, I stepped on something, I looked down to see I steped on a screw driver. That’s when I got the idea. I bent down and picked it up, and looked toward the woman, still loading the van with the canned foods. I needed that food. So, I walked over to the woman. “I’m sorry!” She said to me. “I can’t spare an-” she was cut off by the screwdriver I rammed into her chest.

“I’m sorry…” I said as she slowly died. Her children were gone, I don’t know were they went, and I didn’t care. I shut the hatch on the back of the van, jummped in, and drove back to my house. In the street, there were people begging me to let me in the van. The nuclear bomb would hit soon, and there was no room, so I kept driving. When they started trying to block the van, I floored it. I don’t know how many people I ran over.

I jumped out of the van, now crimsion, and started unpacking the cans into the bombshelter. it took about an hour, so by the time I got all of the cans into the bombshelter, I saw the planes. I ran into the bombshlter, and after a few minuets, I heard a extreamly loud bang. then nothing. It would be a few months till the raddiation cleared up, so I sat down. I was hungry, so I picked up a can. That’s when I realized I left the canopener in my house.

Original Author:

89 Comments on 'Canned Food'

Click Here to Display Comments
  • Commented on December 18, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    This would be the story of my life.

    171
    !
  • Commented on January 10, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    It IS more comical than scary 🙂 but I do love a good “joke” in a morbid context

    81
    !
  • Commented on January 10, 2015 at 4:44 am

    That’s karma at it’s finest.

    70
    !
  • CreepypastaReader#666
    Commented on December 28, 2014 at 5:42 pm

    Should’ve kept the screwdriver XD

    55
    !
  • Commented on December 17, 2014 at 1:29 am

    He could have opened it by smashing it on the ground,

    47
    !
  • Commented on December 17, 2014 at 12:55 am

    Ha! Thats what you get for killing the woman!

    31
    !
  • Commented on December 17, 2014 at 9:04 am

    The end of this is worth every single word you read.

    27
    !
  • Commented on December 17, 2014 at 12:36 am

    That last sentence made me rate this a 5/5

    26
    !
  • Commented on March 25, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    this is so me

    26
    !
  • Commented on December 17, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    I like how the story throws everything at us right from the beginning, spending paragraphs and paragraphs setting up exposition is kind of monotones. (Not saying it isn’t sometimes needed though.) I give it 8/10

    14
    !
  • Commented on December 30, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    Love the ending. Awesome.

    12
    !
  • Commented on March 16, 2015 at 2:05 am

    That’s exactly what i’d do. Kill everyone for food and shelter and then realize that I forgot the can opener. That’s probably what my future holds for me. Congrats, you’re now a Fortune teller.

    10
    !
  • Commented on December 19, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    I shouldn’t have laughed, but I did. That’s really what he deserved!

    8
    !
  • Commented on December 31, 2014 at 4:56 am

    Well that goes unexpected. 5/5
    Perfect.

    8
    !
  • Commented on January 27, 2015 at 5:36 am

    I was honestly NOT expecting that, and it had me laughing my ass off for a bit. 5/5.

    8
    !
  • Commented on June 24, 2015 at 2:54 am

    Tasty pasta with a side of irony

    8
    !
  • Commented on July 31, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    eats the cans instead..

    6
    !
  • Commented on September 29, 2015 at 9:47 pm

    story of my life

    6
    !
  • Dreadfull
    Commented on April 23, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    amazing so me

    5
    !
  • creativeusername
    Commented on January 8, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    This is hilarious! The story builds up a situation, with a twist in the ending. I loved it.

    4
    !
  • Commented on April 30, 2015 at 10:48 pm

    I thought it was a little weak til the end. That ending made it though.

    3
    !
  • roguewitch71
    Commented on September 20, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    whoops! dumbass

    3
    !
  • Commented on December 14, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    I know a friend who I GUARANTEE would go to that extreme just to screw up like that. Also, why didn’t he just grab the screwdriver he used to kill the woman to open it, or, better yet, just throw it at a wall? That would work. Hopefully. OH GOD MY APOCALYPSE CAN PLAN MIGHT NOT WORK WITHOUT A CAN OPENER SHAT!!

    3
    !
  • Commented on December 9, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    I like the idea of the nuclear bombs. It gave great background imagery and made the story really good.

    2
    !
  • Commented on December 10, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    Wow that would be me.

    2
    !
  • Commented on May 5, 2015 at 8:22 am

    It reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode, Time Enough at Last.

    1
    !
  • Commented on September 24, 2015 at 8:47 am

    Ah that old chestnut, sometimes the small things are overlooked.

    1
    !
  • Commented on October 29, 2015 at 4:51 am

    Didn’t expect that ending. My eyes lit up when I read the last sentence. Loved it 10/10

    1
    !
  • Commented on November 16, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    this describes me in any end of the world situation, and i love the sick humor

    1
    !
  • Commented on December 14, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    I don’t think it was meant to be scary to be honest, I think it’s like that “WHO WAS PHONE!!!” story that was just for lols.

    1
    !
  • Commented on December 16, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    totaly me

    1
    !
  • Kel
    Commented on February 21, 2016 at 1:43 am

    He got what he diserved, karma just rekt him so hard.

    1
    !
  • Commented on May 9, 2016 at 12:31 am

    Lol “oops well now im gonna die lol” srsly shouldve kept screwdriver, i grew really attached to that tool.

    1
    !
  • Commented on May 25, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    COULD YOU FORGET A CAN OPENER? But to be honest, that would be me lol

    1
    !
  • Commented on June 10, 2016 at 4:17 am

    *5 minutes later still laughing. Then realizes he forgot about monster in house. *turns around: yup. right behind him. * 10/10 Loved it

    1
    !
  • Commented on December 23, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    Now THAT’S scary. Love it!

    0
    !
  • Commented on January 11, 2015 at 11:04 am

    I was laughing like mad but hey this is a cool story i like.

    0
    !
  • Waffle
    Commented on March 12, 2015 at 4:03 am

    Me at the end: KARMA’S A BITCH

    0
    !
  • Commented on April 13, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    Truly funny in my option

    0
    !
  • Commented on April 25, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    Well thats what he gets for killing that poor mother and taking her food. If he just left her alone then he would be fine. 5/5

    0
    !
  • Commented on May 1, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    karma’s a bitch xD

    0
    !
  • Commented on May 6, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    That would be my luck

    0
    !
  • Commented on June 1, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    Always pack a can-opener in the bomb-shelter. LOL XD

    0
    !
  • Commented on June 2, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    That’s pretty funny. I like a creepypasta where it’s a scary and awful story plot, but funny ending

    0
    !
  • Commented on June 7, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Wow what a story!

    0
    !
  • Commented on June 19, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    The story itself is creepy but with a funny ending. I like when horror and humor meet.

    0
    !
  • Commented on July 19, 2015 at 9:33 pm

    This is very good

    0
    !
  • Commented on August 4, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    I loved the dark element to it, I think the comedic ending was okay but didn’t work well with the darkness it had begun with

    0
    !
  • Commented on August 7, 2015 at 2:26 am

    I really like this creepypasta, but there are a couple problems. One, there’s a lot of spelling mistakes. Second, I’m pretty sure this doesn’t qualify as “tiny.” But it’s funny when he leaves the can opener in the house!

    0
    !
  • Commented on August 12, 2015 at 9:57 am

    karma.

    0
    !
  • DONTLOOKLEFT
    Commented on August 15, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    Assuming that the shelters made of concrete, or at least the floor of the shelter is, it would be hard to open the cans without a can opener

    0
    !
  • Commented on September 10, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    That ending though. xD

    0
    !
  • Commented on September 18, 2015 at 9:31 pm

    I love the irony. Really funny.

    0
    !
  • Commented on September 22, 2015 at 8:39 am

    I wonder if the woman would have died if she would have offered the man a single can of food.
    What do you guys think?

    0
    !
  • Commented on October 1, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    awesome.10/10.[you should read this story, Better lock that door…]

    0
    !
  • Commented on October 8, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    he forgot the can opener… amazing 10/10 honestly

    0
    !
  • Commented on October 16, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    This is something that I would most likely do xD This pasta entertained me 10/10

    0
    !
  • Commented on October 19, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    omfg lol dummy

    0
    !
  • Commented on October 23, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    Karma?

    0
    !
  • Commented on November 20, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    That last sentence is golden.

    0
    !
  • Commented on December 1, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    Its kind of sad…

    0
    !
  • Commented on January 3, 2016 at 12:03 am

    There’s a lot more ways to open a can than with a can opener. If you scrape the can against the ground long enough the rim will be ground down far enough where you can just remove the rim. I know that’s not the point, the joke here is you go to extremes, and then end up dying anyways. The reason all of this is hidden is because it all pertains to the story, since it’s only a short paragraph.

    0
    !
  • Commented on April 27, 2016 at 9:00 pm

    Serves the bastard right haha but this was good, I liked it!

    0
    !
  • Commented on May 8, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    I laughed so hard when I read this. \(‘O’)/

    0
    !
  • Commented on July 2, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    This pasta made me smile. I loved it. 9 cans of food out of 10.

    0
    !
  • Theneverendingwhy
    Commented on August 7, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    Not creepy but hilarious.

    0
    !
  • Commented on September 15, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    I have to say….that was hilariously creepy, very good quick pasta! 🙂
    Just…i would have used the screwdriver to open the cans, lol
    Great Job! 🙂
    4/5

    0
    !
  • Commented on September 15, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    This is not scary or creepy. This is funny lol

    0
    !
  • Commented on September 20, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    funny. but in a survival situation you can find a smooth piece of concrete and rub the top of the can back and fourth upside down and the lid will cleanly pop off

    0
    !
  • Commented on October 4, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    This was just funny (apart from when he killed the woman)

    0
    !
  • Commented on October 18, 2016 at 5:06 pm

    The real horror comes when you read the last line.

    0
    !
  • CEL
    Commented on November 1, 2016 at 7:39 am

    I liked this….

    but there are ways around forgetting that item 😉 for those playing at home

    0
    !
  • Commented on March 23, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    This story definitely is an “Oh Shit” moment, but all jokes aside, this was a pretty good short and to the point story. Personally, I would have added a little more gore and detail of the bomb in the story, but that’s just because I like to paint pictures into people’s minds. 4/5

    -1
    !
  • Commented on July 20, 2015 at 12:28 am

    reminds me of 60 seconds, they never grab a can opener, but they eat almost exclusively from cans. Luckily this couldn’t happen to me, because my canines are sharp enough to open a can, at least enough to get food out of it. But this was an awesome pasta and I’ll recommend it to anyone who says that they could survive a nuclear fallout.

    -1
    !
  • Commented on July 27, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    It would take MUCH more than a few months for radiation to dissipate. Try maybe 20,000 years

    -1
    !
  • Commented on September 17, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    Nice story and worthy ending, just a few minute issues. It seems a little lazy to just let the kids disappear. And pity about the typos.

    -1
    !
  • Commented on September 30, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    Well kids this is what happens when you leave home without a can opener.

    -1
    !
  • Commented on February 21, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    The concept of this story is what is truly frightening, both on the ends that he murdered a woman and left her children and that even after he is gonna starve
    I give it a 7.8 out of ten.

    -1
    !
  • Somebooooody
    Commented on May 19, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    After reading the comments and thinking, what about this: If he hadn’t killed her, she would’ve died from the nukes. She never mentioned a fallout shelter, and didnt sound like she had one…

    -2
    !
  • Commented on December 1, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND, THIS WOULD BE EXACTLY ME!!! You do all of that work, then forget one of the most important things.

    -2
    !
  • HorrorHype
    Commented on February 21, 2016 at 3:38 am

    WOW SOO CREEPY…he left the can opener !!!! oh no I’m like so scared I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep anymore

    -2
    !
  • Commented on January 6, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    Probably woulda done the same, loved the story although there were some minor spelling errors that made a couple sentences hard understand and needed to take a second look.

    -3
    !
  • Commented on June 27, 2015 at 6:30 am

    Utterly delightful, this MicroPasta had me in stitches! My only critique would be that I feel stabbing the woman in the neck rather than the chest would have been a bit more realistic.

    -3
    !
  • Commented on December 11, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Really good, the ending had me laughing, but besides that – you have very few spelling and grammar mistakes but thats it. Overall – 5/5 though I wish it was a bit longer 🙁

    -3
    !
  • your neighbor
    Commented on February 19, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    lol dfq

    -5
    !
  • Commented on May 25, 2015 at 3:29 am

    Not really scary but it’s still great. And can he open the can by just scraping it on stone or concrete?

    -5
    !
  • Commented on December 19, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    It wasn’t very scary or suspenseful, but the ending was funny Xx

    -8
    !
  • Commented on January 21, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    Didn’t spook me, but it did make me laugh, so I’ll give it a 3/5.

    -8
    !
  • Commented on January 13, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    lol

    -10
    !
Leave a Comment


− 5 = four

Leave Feedback / Report Glitch