“Come Closer”

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I’d actually seen him on our way home from school. He looked dirty and disturbed, and stared straight at us as our bus went by. We even made jokes about him, probably as our way of pretending we weren’t afraid. He was incredibly out of place in our middle class suburb, so his mere presence felt threatening… thus our panic when the three of us got off at our stop and saw him at the corner, about to look in our direction.

He was between us and our houses, and the bus had already pulled away, so we bolted for the bushes of a nearby yard. We weren’t sure if he had seen us, but we peered through the leaves and saw him stalking our way, muttering randomly. Tim, my neighbor, insisted that he’d seen a large knife in the man’s ragged clothing. Danny, a kid I hardly knew who had just moved into the neighborhood, insisted that he was imagining it – that Tim’s glasses must have reflected the sun wrong or something. Still, we were terrified, and the sidewalk was going to bring him right by us.

It was Tim that broke and ran first, keeping low. I followed, my heart pounding, as we dove into the darkness underneath the porch of the unfamiliar house we’d been hiding near. As we squeezed our bodies against the dirt, the grimy wood pressed into our backs, barely giving us enough room to breathe. From our hiding place, we could see the disturbed man turn into the yard in front of us and begin searching around, hitting the bushes and muttering angrily.

I realized then that Danny wasn’t with us, but I hadn’t seen where he’d gone. Tim had lost his glasses back at the bushes, and he just huddled in the shadows next to me in near-blind terror. We stayed there in silence, waiting. Every so often, whenever I almost thought it was safe to come out, footsteps would creep across the wooden porch above us. Tim almost sneezed, once, but I covered his mouth and nose in stark fear.

We waited there so long that the tone of the sunlight began to change. We hadn’t heard the man searching about in awhile, and I was just getting ready to peek out, when footsteps clattered and a thud hit the wood directly above us. A split second later, Danny’s face appeared in front of us upside down, and he looked at us through the lattice. A look of shock and surprise crossed his features at finally finding us. He whispered something, but I couldn’t hear anything. He seemed to be saying “come closer,” so I figured the horrible man was still around and we had to be quiet, and I inched forward.

Danny’s features grew fearful, and he kept indicating something above us. Strangely, I still couldn’t hear him… his eyes seemed to dim then, and I inched forward a little bit more. I froze for a moment in horror, then backed up. Tim mouthed to me: “What did he say?” and I just shook my head, completely in shock. Danny hadn’t conveyed “come closer,” he had mimed “he’s up there.” The drifter was unknowingly sitting right above us, waiting, because he knew we had to be somewhere in that yard.

There was nothing to do but wait in silence, trying not to scream. I was glad Tim had lost his glasses. I lay there as darkness descended, waiting in unwavering terror and trying not to feel the glassy stare of Danny’s severed head as it rested in the grass a foot away.

Original Author: M59Gar
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61 Comments on '“Come Closer”'

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  • Commented on January 28, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Those silly comments made me quite sad. I like this piece to be honest, and the confusion factor, in my opinion, makes this a little more thrilling. I’m a newbie to writing creepy pastas, but I’ve read plenty of them. This one is short, yes. It cuts right to the chase,and doesn’t digress in the slightest. I give this 8/10. Nice work.

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  • Commented on January 25, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    This is a place for intellectuals to read and critique horror stories. No one cares about the “sweg”. So kindly do us a favor, and gtfo. I like this story, but i do wish there was a sexond part. 9/10

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  • Commented on January 30, 2015 at 8:35 am

    It was a great pasta, please write a part 2. the only flaw was no ending :/ 9/10

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  • Commented on August 3, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    It would be nice if there was a second part of this story, i’d like to know what happened to the kids

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  • Commented on April 7, 2015 at 12:53 am

    I just thought it was a little too short. Personally I would’ve made it a medium sized story. But, even with the size, the story was quite the frighter! 😀 I give it a 8/10 mainly because of size. It was too quick a read. ^-^

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  • Commented on December 31, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    i like this one giving you 4/5 :)

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  • Commented on December 20, 2014 at 2:31 am

    i think this is quite good although what do i know i just made this account

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  • Commented on April 22, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    little confused. Was his head cut off when or after he said come closer

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  • Commented on February 23, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    Good story just wish It was a little longer.

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  • Commented on February 4, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    It was good but It could have used more detail and needs to be a little longer still 3/5

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  • Commented on May 5, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    It was good! But i feel like it should have been longer or maybe it should have a second part? (:

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  • Commented on May 27, 2015 at 5:24 am

    Holy cow, that scared the crap out of me. I take the bus to and from school everyday, and now I’m scared to go by myself. A fantastic pasta,

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  • Commented on August 4, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    amazing but it couldve used more title refreances like danny couldve said comecloser or something but otherwise i would make it longer and as creppyer as u can but otherwise love it 8/10

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  • Commented on August 19, 2015 at 10:55 pm

    Hey if you like hearing creepypastas and original storys visit my youtube channel Creepy Shorts

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  • Commented on August 21, 2015 at 1:20 am

    Oh wow I did NOT see that coming. Although, I probably should have setting as this is creeptpasta.

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  • Commented on May 16, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Why do i find this sad?

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  • Commented on August 30, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    This story is by the same author of Psychosis, he released a compendium of his works not too long ago.

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  • Commented on October 8, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    I like it! Pretty sad however, that Daniel died.

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  • Commented on October 9, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    Confused me just a little, otherwise I liked it. 9/10

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  • Commented on November 26, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    I loved this! 10/10

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  • Commented on November 28, 2013 at 6:08 am

    Wasn’t terrible but the ending was a little abrupt & muddled. 6\10

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  • Commented on December 17, 2013 at 1:15 am

    It was a good meal. I would say 6/10

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  • Commented on March 20, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    id get why her friend being blind conferted her like wtf your fucked and your friend is even more than you and why the hell is no one seeeing this dead kid or why dont they have a cellphone

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  • Commented on March 31, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    Gay bastards can’t even spell their favourite slang word, swag, right

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  • Commented on June 15, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    The thud they herd was the man cutting his head of

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  • Commented on July 19, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    does it make me a bad person if I thought that I wanted to keep the head of Danny?

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  • Commented on November 14, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    OMG I so totally LOVED IT!!!! I couldn’t stop reading the ending. I read it over and over and OVER!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t believe that Danny got his he chopped off. It realy brings meaning to the word yolo!!! I give this…………….
    91/2 out of 10. And can I write a part 2?

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  • Commented on January 7, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    I really enjoy this creepypasta. I read it over and over again all of the time. It never gets old. (:

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  • Commented on January 12, 2015 at 2:02 am

    The story was somewhat intense and cuts right to the point however, this story feels like it’s missing something. It is….odd….this feeling

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  • Commented on January 14, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    This is a very good story. Although I think it needs to be a little bit longer. Like What happened to the boys under the porch. Were they killed?, Died of starvation, or merrily got bored and ran?

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  • Commented on January 23, 2015 at 8:20 am

    :3

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  • Commented on February 4, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    what’s up with this “swag comments” ? shut up ^-^ anyways, The ending :/ it was meh I don’t really get it? random head and it progressed too quickly if you ask me。

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  • Commented on February 9, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    I don’t understand the main point of this story can someone tell me plz?

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  • Commented on April 10, 2015 at 7:51 am

    nope just nope thats too much

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  • Commented on April 10, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    hmmm this is ok

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  • Commented on April 23, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    interesting I’m not an expert on the stuff just entertaining to read..soo its good..8/10

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  • Commented on April 29, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    This was amazingly spine-chilling! Good job!

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  • Commented on May 12, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    I am never walking home without my knife ever again.

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  • Commented on May 14, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    I find this story great although i can’t understand if Danny’s head was cut off while or after he told them to come closer. I give you a 9/10

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  • Commented on May 25, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    The plot in this creepypasta is a litle hard to understand. It has a good choice of words, but it doesn’t have a conclusion. I would give it a 5.5/10.

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  • Commented on May 27, 2015 at 1:47 am

    Great pasta!

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  • Mim
    Commented on May 27, 2015 at 10:40 am

    Nice work.
    Never leaving home without my machete again.

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  • Unkown
    Commented on June 8, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    i dont get it, did the guy chop of danny’s head?.

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  • Unkown
    Commented on June 8, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    i dont get it, did the guy chop off danny’s head?

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  • Commented on June 12, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    short but a good read

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  • Commented on July 5, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    I liked the part with the r severed head. I think that it would’ve been cooler if Danny said “come closer” from under the bush and then the thing had severed his head so that when the two other boys had tried pulling Danny out, they realized that Danny’s head had been cut off.

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  • Commented on July 20, 2015 at 1:09 am

    This was…strange…..but cool. I like everything, except for the end, seemed cheap. Could just be me though.

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  • Commented on July 26, 2015 at 1:47 am

    This is a really good pasta I give it an 8/10 had nice grammar and I could tell you spent some time on this just like everyone else has said if you make a part two give us a nice ending something that will leave us In utter shock and fear.

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  • Commented on July 29, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    As an English Teacher, I give the direction of the piece a solid ten. Cementing the story from the first few lines, the where, the who, all done effortlessly. The only corrections I’d suggest are making sure you pay close attention to formatting and punctuation, start a new line for every speaker. The ending was a bit static, but very reminiscent of the old EC Vault of Horrors style comics; very well done.

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  • Commented on May 3, 2013 at 2:53 am

    No one noticed a strange man cuting a kids head off interesting and creepy

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  • Commented on May 19, 2013 at 10:55 am

    im so confused

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  • Commented on June 10, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    I don’t understand but I still like it

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  • Commented on January 23, 2015 at 8:22 am

    i hope its over

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  • Commented on February 26, 2014 at 1:32 am

    I agree with the point about how the ending with the head being decapitated. It’s unclear. Other than that good average pasta.

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  • Commented on November 7, 2014 at 4:53 pm

    Me my pasta are not perfect but i write them just for fun, but for some i have to tell permision to other pasta writer if i want to post their pasta on site like these and i have permision friom one only.

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  • Commented on January 5, 2015 at 11:43 pm

    I had to reread it like thrice. But when I finally got it I must say, it’s pretty creepy.

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  • Commented on December 20, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    How come his head was on the grass? Was Danny sleeping?

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  • HopelessSpoilerLady
    Commented on December 19, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    uhhh what does this mean! and i give it 0.4/10

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  • Commented on January 9, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Y U HAVE NO SWEG!?>?>?!>?>!?>!?>!?>!?>!? NOT ENOUGH SWEG

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  • Commented on January 9, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    WHY U NO CALL IT CUM CLOSER?

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  • Commented on January 9, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    WHERE IS DA SWEG AT? U AINT GOT AS MCH SWEG AS ME YOLO

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