Criminality

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I sat down with my bowl of popcorn, drenched in butter, just the way I liked it. I picked up the TV remote and flipped throught the channels. It was the same old stuff as always, advertising for the newest toys, or soap operas about Italian families who never get along. I stopped at the news channel.

“There have been reports of an escape from the Rockfield Prison. A man, who murdered 37 people, including three police officers, was reported missing from the prison today. He was last seen by inmates yesterday night at around 9:40. It is still uncertain if he escaped, or if he’s been killed and hidden by enemies in the prison, although another guard was found dead this morning near his cell.”

I got up from my chair and walked to the kitchen. It had been months since I last had popcorn. I had forgotten how much butter to put in. Hadn’t put enough. I put it down because I had a sudden urge to pee. After using the restroom, I walked outside and got in the police cruiser. I roamed around the neighborhood until I found a house with no cars, but lights inside.

I parked the car on the road and got out. I walked to the back of the house, and through the window saw a light. I could see someone on a computer, on a website with a black background, and red logos everywhere. As I was walking to the window, I looked down at my right arm.

The orange jumpsuit was bloodstained up and down the arms, and some was on my chest too. I decided to keep it that way, better to surprise this victim.

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35 Comments on 'Criminality'

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  • Commented on August 10, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    How did this even make it?

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  • Commented on August 14, 2015 at 8:11 am

    Mindfuck? Untag that immediately. This was the complete and total opposite of a mindfuck.

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  • Commented on August 10, 2015 at 3:32 am

    I enjoy the attempt at making the reader feel uneasy as they reach the end. I would suggest changing this to present tense. While it is clear that the narrator was stalking someone who was viewing this website, the past tense scenario doesn’t sprinkle in that little extra bit of dread. If they think someone is watching them RIGHT NOW, then you nailed it. Overall decent job!

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  • Commented on August 10, 2015 at 5:12 pm

    It was decent, too predictable

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  • Pinetree's Revenge
    Commented on October 28, 2015 at 1:01 am

    Good pasta. I don’t know my everyone is like “NOT A MINDFUCK” Can you not tell the person he is stalking is on this website? That’s what makes it a mindfuck. Just a tip don’t use “I” so many times, it takes away from the story. Using other opening to sentences gives you’re story a little kick to it. Over all 7/10 breads

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  • Commented on August 20, 2015 at 11:19 pm

    Honestly I wasn’t scared I think it could use more detail

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  • Commented on February 21, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    Right when it said that it had been months since they had popcorn, it was an immediate give away that he was the obviously the escapee
    1/5

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  • Commented on August 23, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    wow 45 secs wasted reading this trows up pasta

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  • caver753
    Commented on October 29, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Okay. I thought his victim was watching porn…

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  • Commented on August 10, 2015 at 11:42 pm

    It’s hard to find an enjoyable short pasta, and this one was actually pretty good. The ending had a nice meta touch to it, which i never really see to much. The only thing I really have to say is that popcorn is not “dredged” in butter, it’s “drenched”. Dredged means to scoop up water from a river… no joke

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  • Commented on June 1, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    Would be so much better in present tense.. And I’m reading this in class.

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  • Commented on October 2, 2015 at 8:00 am

    Not sure why all the bad reviews, but I liked it. I thought it was a good side dish. (Short Pasta)

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  • Commented on August 1, 2016 at 9:35 am

    Sorry, dude. Your creepypasta is not complete. It’s not even scary. Please improve your pasta.

    21/100. Really Sorry. It needs to improve.

    But don’t worry. If it’s your first creepypasta, there might be more opportunities. So use them to the fullest. Wishing you all the best for your future creepypastas.

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  • Commented on August 10, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    lol he was the perp the whole time

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  • Riza Mustang
    Commented on August 11, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    Wow.

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  • Commented on August 21, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    There was no mindfuck.
    And very cliche.
    But it still took me awhile to get what happened.
    Still a very good story. Keep trying
    3.4/5

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  • Commented on September 11, 2015 at 11:28 am

    more detail.but great job.

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  • Commented on November 1, 2015 at 12:57 am

    Kinda cool. I didn’t notice right away that the narrator was the killer.

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  • Commented on January 8, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    This was great and had an awesome plot twist! 10/10

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  • Commented on February 8, 2016 at 9:15 am

    Used the wrong tags.

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  • Kel
    Commented on February 21, 2016 at 11:15 pm

    Plot twist

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  • Commented on April 11, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    Liking butter so much makes him less scary.

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  • Jon Vil
    Commented on July 31, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Hah! I’m at church on my phone right now! Can’t fool me!

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  • Commented on March 18, 2016 at 1:40 am

    This is not even slightly creepy

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  • Commented on August 22, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    i knew he was the criminal as soon as the news thing came on 🙁

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  • BBillyScream
    Commented on April 11, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    Horrible

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  • Commented on June 25, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Well I know my Pastas are crappy but this was just special

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  • funnymouth666
    Commented on August 2, 2016 at 5:56 am

    Woooooooooow, the protagonist was the killer. Tbh, didn’t see that coming. The “i” thing got a little annoying but it was still a good pasta. I give it 7 out of 10

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  • Commented on September 28, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    Spoiler Alert: This story isn’t a mindfuck at all

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  • Commented on August 20, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    Jeff the killer: Go to sleep motherfucker.
    Criminal: Damn. Life.

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  • Commented on November 2, 2015 at 9:43 am

    37 people? Lol

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  • xarwhohuntsdragons
    Commented on February 5, 2016 at 2:43 am

    i loved it !kinda obvious but i still liked it . curious if he decided the ads aswell there are three cars outside my house this convict needs spectacles! 😛

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  • Commented on June 1, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    [spoiler he’s the killer]

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  • Commented on August 10, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    that was good.

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  • Commented on August 10, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    it was a grate story but i wish it was longer

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