In my hometown, Park City, Utah, things are usually pretty quiet and easygoing due to it being the so called, “Number 1 Ski Town” on Earth by about 15 different ski magazines. Not much happens other than the Sundance Film Festival and ski season. I am telling you this to give you some background and to let you realize that nothing paranormal or odd ever happens here or to any of it’s people.
A few months ago I started sleeping more, this is because I am still a teenager and I am probably still growing. When I say sleeping more I mean a lot more. My daily routine is usually school, eating food then sleeping until the next morning which I would later come to find out is very unhealthy psychologically. This whole sleeping thing seems irrelevant but I will get into it shortly.
A dream is defined as, “A series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep”. The dreams I started having were more defined as an event or an occurrence. What I mean by this is that they started to seem very real and I started to believe that they were real. Some days I would think back to something believing that it was real and not even realize that it was a dream.
Then the dreams got violent. Some nights I would wake up from screams or loud noises echoing through my spine and seemingly, my house. I would always assume that they were just nightmares and go to sleep but they just kept coming back. I started losing sleep and doing whatever I could to get out of having to go to bed. It got to the point where I would even take on extra assignments at school so I could be doing something that would keep me awake.
One particular afternoon, I was sitting at my dining room table doing some physics homework when I heard a knock on the door. I got up and walked over to the door to see who was there, as normal humans do, and no one was at the door. I shut the door assuming that it was just a grade schooler playing a trick. Then I turned from the door to walk back to the table and saw my mom standing in the mud room looking at me with a puzzled face. “Was someone there?” She said.
“No it was just a doorbell ditcher.” I replied
“Well don’t doorbell ditchers usually ring the doorbell or knock?”
“Yeah, they did knock-“
As soon as I finished my sentence I heard my alarm clock go off and I woke up in my bed. I was very confused because I was positive that the conversation I had with my mom was real. As I sat up in my bed I realized that I was dreaming. I couldn’t feel any part of my body and everything felt cold and lifeless as it usually does in a dream. My body laid back down in bed and “fell asleep” once more and once more I heard my alarm clock go off and I woke up in bed, still dreaming.
I cant seem to get out of this loop. I have tried everything. There is only one way I can think of to end this hell.
37 Comments on 'Infinite Loop'
WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO MESS WITH MYYY SLLEEEEPP?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!???!!???!? HOW DARE YOOUUUUUUUUU
“I got up and walked over to the door to see who was there, as normal humans do…” For a second there, TheOldNite, you almost had me. And then I read this, and I know for a fact normal humans don’t do this. Just saying I’m on to you…
But really, this could use some heavy editing. The story tries to add background, but ultimately, it adds little to the actual plot. Grammatical errors are abundant, and the plot itself is not super unique. The ending also feels like a cop out.
You got me hooked already, the beginning was good. As a “sleep enthusiast” myself i was really waiting for the climax or a good ending at least. Lol anyway it kinda reminded me of AHS Coven wherein they stay on that nightmare loop infinitely, i think it was Misty Day who got trapped in that sort of nightmare anyway. The beginning was good but it wasn’t as good as the later parts.
As unique as this story appears to be, it could use a lot more descriptive work regarding the dreams.
It has potential.
Interesting plot but definitely could have been more detailed.
Honestly it’s really good
I like the idea and premise of the story, but I feel like it could be more descriptive
It’s too short and kinda flimsy on the whole creepy bit. It would bet better if the whole “loop” thing had more going on and something would happen, he’d wake up do stuff, then hear the alarm and wake up, do stuff, then hear the alarm etc. Have things bleed over from one of the dreams to the other like an event or maybe he spilled something on the carpet and cleans it up, only to wake up from that dream but to find the stain is still there.
Blur the line between fantasy and reality.
Some of the wording could be edited. It needs to be a bit more authentic. “I am still a teenager and I am probably still growing”, for example, isn’t something a teenager would say. I think with some wording corrections and some more detail and background, this could be a great story.
Its a good but I think the ending was disappointing
Its a good story but the ending was disappointing
That is some slight mind-frukery there. I just wish there was more of a suspenseful plot twist here & there.
This is just stupid. Work more on the description, and plot.
I’m no expert, so take what I say with a pinch of salt, this is just my opinion based on my experience while reading.
There are a few minor grammatical errors, in the first paragraph:
so called, “Number 1 Ski Town” .. So-called should have a hyphen.
I’d also personally break the last sentence of the paragraph up, a comma after “background” maybe? A bit later on when the main character hears the door, I personally feel like he says “door” too much.
Finally, the last line “I cant seem to get out of this loop”.. Cant needs an apostrophe.
With all that said, the idea behind the story is a good one, I really enjoyed reading and I look forward to reading more of your stories. Nice work man, 4/5 (The “Door” issue did it for me, sorry)
I read this aloud with my friend & sister, as the three of us read the last line, a chill ran down my spine.
I liked it though it could use more work and description. But I definitely liked it due to the fact that I am from Utah myself.
not quite. It was okay but it needed more detail and plot. 4/10
As I sat up in my bed I realized that I was dreaming. I couldn’t feel any part of my body and everything felt cold and lifeless
wait i’m confused how do you sit up and then realize that you cant feel any part of your body.
it is great
Nice creepypasta loved it!
I think like other person in this comment section has posted is:
this has great potential
as well it could be polished a bit better
but i still enjoyed it and gave it a 6/10
Will the story be continued??
– Because it ended in open!
great story but the plot needs a little work.
Maybe try explaining how the dreams get violent in the story too.
who that played with me I thought he was actually studing lol but I guess it was a dream… it was very weird for one fact but I loved it great work and such good content for a short creepypasta
A tip; kill yourself.
Could be better. A LOT better.
I believe this has potential but could use some polishing
it was good, very odd and creepy plot
very good I so can relate to the whole endless dream and thinking that a dream is real when it really never happened
Man I’ve Once Had A Dream Like This in “Real Life”
i kept waking again and again!
i had to die in the end to “wake up”
ya i’m not sure if this is real 🙁
This should’ve been longer and had more depth to it!! It ends on a weird note and kinda doesn’t make sense? In the beginning you also make it seem like you look back on this event which is odd because how could you look back on event that never ended? This needs clarification and some editing, but it is a nice idea and a good story in thought!
Story was building up, ending could’ve been better.
I am a narrator on YouTube and I was wondering if I may have your permission to narrate your story? I will site author and a link to this website!
Ending could have been better
Described my sleep paralysis really good. “I realized I was dreaming. I couldn’t feel any part of my body…” To a T! Needs some description and a little fluff throughout the body.