It Hurts a Bit

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I don’t really remember what happened before it all went dark. I think I was in the car? All I can remember was the loud noise, some screech of metal on metal and then nothing. I woke up in this beeping place. I’m not sure where I am because I can’t seem to open my eyes. Silly, isn’t it? I can definitely feel the blanket on top of me and the beep-beep-beep beside me but I can’t open my eyes or talk or move.

People come to poke at me every now and then and I always try to talk to them.

“Can someone tell me what’s happened to my eyes? I can’t open them.” I try to say but my vocal cords don’t seem to want to cooperate so I guess I’ll just wait. These people seem to know what they’re doing, they poke in the same places every time, sometimes with their fingers, sometimes with a sharp-thing-with-no-name. They don’t say much, these people. Just come, poke, sigh, and go.

Someone opened my eye today and held a flashlight over it. It hurt and I couldn’t tell them to stop but just the movement of my eye felt amazing. Did you know that if you don’t open your eyes for a long time they can stick to your eyelids? I didn’t. Do now. It didn’t hurt though, it just felt good when it unstuck.

Someone’s been holding my hand and reading me stories. They’re seven chapters into Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets now. I’d tell them that I’ve already read them but I can’t. They hold my hand sometimes and just sit with me so it’s just me, them and the beep-beep-beep. I think it’s my mom.

She was crying today. I wanted to make her happy and not sad but something’s definitely wrong with my arms because I couldn’t hug her better. I’ll have to tell her when I can that I wanted to help.

Some people came into the room while mom was crying, said that “she should leave”, that “she shouldn’t be here for this” but I didn’t recognise the voice and I didn’t want mom to go. I was scared. She cried louder, said “No, he’s still there.” And I wanted to shout “Of course I am, where would I have gone?” and everyone left.

Mom came back a bit later, sniffing. She sat down and started crying a bit louder, and louder, until she was almost screaming. And then she hit me, right in the face. I couldn’t tell what I’d done wrong but she hit me again and again and again and I couldn’t say sorry or cry or stop her, only sit there until the men came and took her away. Two of the men stayed though and they were mumbling and I couldn’t make out what they were saying until I caught the word “coma.”

I wanted to scream, shake, jump up and slap him in the mouth.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t say “stop.” Couldn’t say “please, I’m here, I can hear you please don’t do this.” Nothing. I could only sit there while they poked me with a sharp-thing-with-no-name that must be a needle. The beep-beep-beep turned into a beep-beep and I felt myself get tired. I wanted to ask what they were doing. What they thought it would help to slow the beeping down but I couldn’t.

I was screaming at the top of my lungs but I wasn’t moving. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to fade away, I need to hug mom, tell her everything’s okay, tell her I’m here and I’m fine. But I don’t think I’ll get the chance now.

Beep.

Beep.

Original Author: Conbz

33 Comments on 'It Hurts a Bit'

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  • Commented on January 9, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    damn that was really good. makes you wounder if all coma patents are like that. Haunting thought

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  • Commented on January 8, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    I like the style of writing, it really makes it feel real. Gives you the ‘what if?’ feeling like what if that’s actually what it’s like.

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  • Commented on January 7, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    Oh my gosh! Did you just make cry?

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  • Markiplier
    Commented on January 13, 2015 at 1:31 am

    Awesome! Couldn’t stop reading for a while; raed it over and over.
    It really is stories like this that make you appreciate what you have and to cherrish life in it’s ups and downs.

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  • Commented on January 13, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    Oh damn. No wonder this one beat mine for top rated this week. O_o I’m not even remotely mad, this was awesome.

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  • Commented on January 28, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    Very well written and it does make you wonder if people go through this. I love it c:

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  • Commented on March 17, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    This will be in my top ten, love it!!!!

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  • Commented on February 1, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Love it. Makes you think a bit.

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  • Commented on June 8, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    This wasn’t too much of a creepy pasta, more like a feels pasta. But it makes you wonder if all coma victims go through this sort of thing. Really good.

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  • madjoker97
    Commented on January 12, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    the feeling of thinking what if that is how it really feels for the person in the coma is a real thing, hmm well id rather not find out.

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  • Commented on January 12, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    –> Spoiler: I believed this was narrated on YouTube back then, it’s a very saddening feel-pasta that even brought me to tears, and even made me think about it for the remainder of the evening. It’s stories like these with a lot of emotion that will likely make an individual more appreciative for what they still have, the very freedom that they can always put use to. I like to think that maybe one day, I can write my own ink somewhere into history by doing so. For this, I gave this pasta 5 stars, and shall do so again here. (5/5*, this pasta was excellent)

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  • oz
    Commented on January 13, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    hey nice story

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  • Commented on January 22, 2015 at 2:09 am

    Oh my god that was so sad!

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  • Commented on January 28, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    This is amazing I’ve had friends with many comas and they say some r like that and it sucks

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  • Commented on February 12, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    probably my favorite story. good job ^~^

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  • Commented on February 17, 2015 at 6:07 am

    haunting. five stars!

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  • Commented on February 26, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    great job! before now i had no idea what coma patients went through. Thanks to this story, i have a general idea. 🙂 10/10

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  • Commented on March 13, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    It was more of a feels pasta than a creepy pasta but I liked it, if it was a bit longer with more detail would of been better but I really liked it, good job.

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  • Commented on April 20, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Interesting intro.

    I believe it could be better if written as if spoken instead of being a narrative in the last part for suspense.

    A very good work.

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  • Commented on April 21, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    You captured the feeling of being in a coma perfectly. I have been through it before when I was younger, and I could wake up but not actually be awake to the people around me. Beautiful creepy pasta.

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  • Commented on May 7, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    SPOILER ALERT BELOW

    I loved this pasta it was sad at the end when he died but good keep it up

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  • Commented on May 10, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    Gem.

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  • animegurl
    Commented on November 5, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    wow this is a really great pasta

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  • Maureen
    Commented on January 6, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    Oh god, you actually made me cry……..

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  • Beatengood
    Commented on January 20, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    I’m literally wanting to be in a coma to see if that’s really how they feel!

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  • Commented on July 10, 2016 at 9:16 am

    Couldn’t stop crying. And I was recording for YouTube. Had to reread a few times and had to pick the one that you could understand. Great story!

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  • Commented on July 11, 2016 at 11:07 am

    I feel bad for him. I’ve always wondered how it felt dying. I’ve seen statements from people who were revived and they said it was “peaceful” and “free.” It makes me wonder if there really is an afterlife where people are reunited with their family, but the thing is. Is there an afterlife?

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  • Commented on August 12, 2016 at 8:39 am

    This one got me goosebumps. The fact that this could actually be reality gives me chills.

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  • Commented on September 21, 2016 at 10:01 pm

    Howdy.
    I’ve done a narration of this story & would like to advertise it to y’all here:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofI7TnuCpE

    I hope I did this justice. It really got under my skin in a way I never thought possible with this site.

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  • Commented on October 2, 2016 at 10:28 am

    I thought this was pretty terrible but to each his own

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  • Commented on November 18, 2016 at 6:01 am

    Haunting…this story is very haunting I thought. Raises many questions about what we might believe or think.

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  • Commented on January 7, 2015 at 1:21 am

    This was a great pasta! It’s like you are in Limbo.

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  • Rae
    Commented on June 22, 2016 at 3:05 am

    This was good until the point you lost me as a fan at the line, “I could only sit there while they poked me with the sharp thing that must be a needle…” I was gone at this point as a fan because
    1. If this person in a coma existed currently at this time then we are to assume that he for some reason showed no activity on their brain scans and brain functioning tests which all long-term coma patients are given.
    2. We are to assume that this patient was somehow miraculously surviving despite not getting any IV fluids. This is because if the patient did have an existing IV line, there would be no need for them to be poked multiple new times. Medical professionals can use the same IV line for very long periods of time,
    3. If we are to assume this patient exists during a different time period and they are sustained without an existing IV line for hydration, then this should have been specified or hinted at in other ways more clearly.
    4. Why and how were these unnamed people killing him/her by putting in a new IV line? This would be totally unnecessary if the patient were in an unresponsive coma as they could be just neglected and allowed to starve or die of dehydration. They could alternately turn off the ventilator to stop them from breathing as a faster and more humane option. We do not give a euthanasia medication of any kind at this time to comatose patients or any patients at all.
    5. If this patient WERE able to breathe on their own and cutting his machines off would not quickly kill them, then there would be no argument against his not having brain activity and the mother wouldn’t ever be in this position to argue about whether he’s still there or not.

    Basically this story had a good amount of potential to me and I could have easily accepted that for some reason he didn’t show any brain activity. However, when the other unrealistic things started piling up, I quit.

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