It started with a whisper…

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It started with a whisper faintly appearing on the wind.

‘Psst.’

Larineth glanced around the field she was in, and after not seeing anyone, she went back to her task: picking the most beautiful flowers she could find and laying them in a basket. Today was her birthday, and she had proudly told anyone that she met that she was turning nine years old today, and soon she would be an adult just like them.

‘Psst.’

She looked up, feeling goose bumps appear on her skin as she glanced around again, still not seeing anybody. She looked down at the daisy she had just picked, and recoiled in horror, throwing it with a scream. Her eyes watched as the daisy, that was now a black, rotting…thing… sailed through the air, disappearing amongst the many flowers in the field.

She stared at the spot it had disappeared, breathing heavily at the shock.

‘PSST.’

It was louder this time, making her whirl around in search of the intruder.

“Who’s there!” she yelled. No answer.

“This isn’t funny!” Again, no answer.

She felt a chill creep into her spine as she looked around the field, every which way. There was a rustling, which her head snapped towards, before realizing the wind was making all the plants sway lazily. She shivered, despite the sunlight beaming down on her. She quickly started heading towards her village, basket in hand.

She hurried, bursting into the front door of her home.

“Mama! I got some!” She called out. No answer.

“Mama?” Again, no answer. She slowly crept through the house, searching for any sign of her mother.

She heard the floor creak and whipped around to face the noise, not seeing anything. She crept towards the back room, the room that belonged to her mother. As she got nearer, it came back.

‘Psst.’

Nervously looking around Larineth still couldn’t see anyone. The house suddenly got dark, all light seeming to disappear into shadow.

“W-who’s there? What do y-you want w-with me?” she managed to stutter out.

There was no answer. She took another step towards her mother’s room, before the sound came again.

‘Psst.’

Glancing around fearfully, she darted forward, into her mother’s room, only to see a figure standing over the still form of her mother. The figure was wrapped in a black robe, and seemed to be staring at her. Larineth gulped as she looked towards where the face would be, only to see nothing but shadow.

‘Soon.’

The figure slowly faded out of view, seeming to dissolve into thin air. Larineth rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t seeing things, before running over to her mother.

“Mama!” No answer. She wasn’t moving.

Larineth bolted, running outside and searching for the nearest person she could find. As she glanced around an uneasy feeling appeared in the pit of her stomach. Her village seemed… empty. She ran to the nearest house, pounding on the door and screaming for help. The door slowly creaked inwards, but there was nobody there. She cautiously walked in, exploring, and found the people. On the floor. Unmoving.

Larineth screamed and ran, but the next house was the same. Everyone was silent. Lifeless. She ran from house to house, tears streaming down her face as she screamed and yelled for someone, ANYONE to help her. There was no answer to her cries. She went through the entire village, only to find that she was the last one alive.

As she looked around in her hysteria, she noticed the robed figure from her house earlier. The cloth moved as if the figure was pointing at her, but there was no visible limb, only shadow.

‘Soon.’

The voice echoed around her. She dropped to her knees sobbing before letting out the loudest scream she possibly could.

She screamed as she sat up, in her bed. Sweating profusely and glancing around. “It was just a dream…” she muttered to herself.

“Larineth! Come eat! Breakfast is ready!” She heard her mother yell from the kitchen.

“It was just a dream.” She reassured herself before going to the kitchen.

After eating and getting dressed for the day, her mother handed her a basket, “Why don’t you go pick some flowers sweetie? The ones on the table are looking sad.”

Larineth glanced behind her at the vase on the table; the flowers were indeed starting to wilt. She turned back and smiled “Okay Mama! I’ll get the prettiest flowers ever!”

She took off racing to the field, beginning to pick the flowers that stood out and caught her attention.

‘Psst.’

It started with a whisper faintly appearing on the wind…

Original Author:

51 Comments on 'It started with a whisper…'

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  • Commented on June 24, 2017 at 6:55 am

    Delicious pasta.

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  • Commented on June 12, 2017 at 2:00 am

    It started with a whipser…
    And that was when I kissed her…
    And then she made my lips hurt
    I could hear the chit chat…Take me to your love shack
    Mamas always gotta back track
    When everybody talks back

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  • Commented on June 13, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Awesome and twisted !! Love it!! 10/10….. Keep up the fantastic work…. Please!

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  • Commented on June 12, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    omg this is so fucking amazing, I read this last nigh and I thought it was lame at first, then I had a dream the exact same as this one now I’m fucking going insane!!!! I had to rate it 5/5 then when I did it stopped the dreams, you have to rate it 5/5 or you will have the dreams too!!!!

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  • Commented on August 15, 2017 at 6:51 pm

    The writer clearly has potential, but the story itself leaves much to be desired. Dreams that turn out to be real are an overused cliche in creepy-pastas, and horror in general. The story is much too short and undescriptive and it feels extremely rushed. Most of this story is left unexplained that leaves a pretentious taste in my mouth. The “black hooded figure” has been used so many times in so many stories it’s starting to get really old. Better explanation of the setting with more detailed imagery would make the story more effective. If the author would put a bit more time and thought into a story, it would most likely be enjoyable.

    3/10

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  • Yum...Pasta!
    Commented on June 11, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    A nice, unique story. The only part that bothers me though is that [the recurring dream (if that’s what you’re pointing out) plot] is quite overused. Also, maybe elaborate a bit more? The rest of the story is unique as mentioned earlier.

    8/10 pastas.

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  • Yum...Pasta!
    Commented on June 11, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    Oops! I’m sorry, the part in [] was supposed to be covered (as a spoiler)… -.-

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  • Me
    Commented on June 12, 2017 at 12:30 am

    really good i liked it

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  • Commented on June 24, 2017 at 1:09 am

    When I first read this story I was thinking to myself what the fuck was going on but the ending was amazing. Great job. P.S. I also read your creepypasta on my channel. My way of helping writers like you get attention.

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  • Commented on June 25, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    Nicely written, but I personally think infinate loop endings are a bit overused… not to mention that the loop ends before “soon” comes. I might have ended with it being a premonition of the Black Plague or something similar hitting the village, and the last thing she sees before it claims her is the figure, perhaps with a final line like “now” or something like that

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  • Commented on July 4, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    Psst…
    this is great!

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  • Commented on July 8, 2017 at 4:20 am

    Very unique story. I really like the way you made me feel as if I was the character hearing the “psst” sounds that gave a huge rush of fear to the main character. Amazing work. Keep it up ^-^.

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  • Commented on July 8, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    Amazing, I loved it.

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  • Commented on June 12, 2017 at 11:59 am

    It started with a whisper
    and that was when I kissed her
    and then she made my lips hurt
    I could hear the chit chat
    take me to your love shack
    Mamas always gotta back track
    when everybody talks back

    0
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  • Commented on June 12, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    This is a good story, keep up the good work 🙂

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  • Bridgette_DaMonsta
    Commented on June 12, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    IT STARTED WITH A WHISPER
    AND ENDED WITH A MURDER
    DUN DUN DUNNN

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  • Commented on June 14, 2017 at 5:50 am

    yo this is a awesome creepypasta

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  • nsjhh
    Commented on June 15, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    She goes into the field an the entire thing was a dream and then the dream happens at the end

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  • Commented on June 17, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    I left the two marvel comics to say that this creepy is great

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  • Read
    Commented on June 19, 2017 at 7:39 am

    Religions contain Christians, Jews and Muslims. http://indiraiimp.edu.in/?attachment_id=42

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  • Commented on June 19, 2017 at 8:45 am

    I really liked this story. Sure it had been done before, many times in fact but it was done well enough that I simply had to keep reading. I wasn’t really expecting this kind of ending till she woke up, of course. Overall you did a great job!

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  • MissteriousMcNikkki
    Commented on June 20, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    omg amazing 5/5

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  • Feather
    Commented on June 21, 2017 at 3:12 pm

    I dont get it?

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  • Commented on June 21, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    I have to say that this story lacks.. a sort of substance. Right off the bat with the repetitive “psst’s” I could already tell that the story was going to loop in on itself. Also, they shadowy figure, or the buildup doesn’t really play a major roll into the looping of the story and mostly fills like filler building up to the end. Try adding a bit more umpf’ or detail that pertains to the ending next time.

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  • Commented on June 22, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    holy crap, that is amazing

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  • Commented on June 23, 2017 at 11:04 am

    Awesome Pasta. 5/5 Would read again.

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  • Commented on June 25, 2017 at 7:14 am

    Really REALLY loved this one. It really plays with the mind and gets you reading.

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  • Commented on June 27, 2017 at 12:14 am

    I Love how the author adds up the suspense and horror of it so nicely and the ending was a great way to add to even more suspense love this story:)

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  • Commented on June 27, 2017 at 5:01 am

    It was good, but not really creepy or original. The writing was spot on though

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  • Commented on June 28, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    OMG this was really good!!!When Larineth at the end was like “Okay Mama” to pick the flowers again, I was like “Oh my God… Are you kidding me?!?” but I was laughing as I said it because this was really good!!!

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  • Commented on June 30, 2017 at 1:06 am

    The idea is good but the typos are a little bit distracting. Maybe you should do something about it. Still, keep it up!

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  • Commented on June 30, 2017 at 12:51 pm

    Chilling and it was nice and smooth. Nice.

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  • creepycookie321
    Commented on June 30, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    Love this it is so good and dark as always this is some real good pasta

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  • Commented on June 30, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    That was a fantastic creepypasta!!!! Keep up the good work, and make more scary bundles of joy!

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  • shahalpha
    Commented on July 2, 2017 at 6:55 am

    I love it, at first i thought it was red riding hood story *-*

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  • ASA
    Commented on July 4, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    While I thought the writing was very good, I also believe the whole waking from a dream, only to see the same events unfold again, is pretty overused.
    I liked how you did not try to explain the occurrence. Some pastas need details, others do not. Keep up the good work!

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  • Commented on July 5, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    i did not see that end coming, thank you cougarkillz for this brilliant work of art i hope to see more

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  • Commented on July 7, 2017 at 8:07 am

    It started with a whisper
    And that was when I kissed her
    And then she made my lips hurt
    I could hear the chit chat
    Take me to your love shack
    Mamas always gotta back track
    When everybody talks back~~~

    Btw good story! Hehe, couldnt help myself

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  • Commented on July 8, 2017 at 2:09 am

    iss gud

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  • Commented on July 10, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    Mama
    Now I will not sleep)

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  • Commented on July 19, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    This creepypasta has become one of my favorites! It’s deliciously twisted, and definitely creepy. Stories like this are the ones that feed my hunger for the paranormal. Nice Job!

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  • Commented on July 20, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Very good twist. M night shamylan would approve.

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  • MsCreepyPasta913
    Commented on July 29, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    ….and that was when i kissed her..

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  • Commented on August 2, 2017 at 1:45 am

    Loved it.

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  • Commented on August 10, 2017 at 6:06 pm

    nice pasta,

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  • Commented on August 15, 2017 at 11:52 am

    ….and that was when i kissed her

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  • Commented on August 24, 2017 at 1:40 am

    I like this one. It gives me a “groundhog day” feeling. Makes me think Larineth is tormented by reliving the same horrid day over and over. It also reminds me of another story where a fellow comes to the conclusion about the 4th or 5th time that he kept reliving the same day. Then he finds out that he is actually in Hell.

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  • Creepyman
    Commented on September 21, 2017 at 11:57 am

    Love the twist but next time have the main character talk like in a diary

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  • Commented on September 29, 2017 at 7:21 am

    absolutely love the story

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  • Commented on August 4, 2017 at 8:59 am

    I approved this. But I gotta make a comment here that has absolutely nothing to do with this pasta-
    Everytime I see a pasta with ‘or so I thought’ I reject it. I have seen that phrase over a hundred times and it gets really stupid after a while. Kthxbai

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  • Commented on June 14, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    shit wtf XD

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