Seen But No Reply

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Its been eight minutes since I sent my message. Seen, but no reply. Something must have happened. Maybe he’s hurt? It’s not unlikely that he tripped and hit his head. His apartment is a mess after all. Maybe he’s simply ignoring me? No, of course not. He’s not like that.

I grab the keys to my car which I conveniently placed next to my computer, and head out the door. I slice through the night air in my 96′ Corolla and wait impatiently at traffic lights as I rush through the suburbia. Maybe he’s simply not home? Out with his friends? Saw the message, but ignored it? No. Maybe he wants me to want him? Oh, I want him… I flick my blinker and make the corner into his street.

I pull into his driveway and jump out of my car, slamming the door after me in haste. I hurry into the building, a greasy old flat. One would think it has been long since abandoned by the looks of it, but I know better.

I go inside and run up the stairs. What if something really happened to him? No.. I must not think like that. But what if? I need to hurry. I’m panting by the time I reach the fourth floor, but now is not the time to rest. I hastily make my way to the unlocked door of his apartment and go inside. A laptop sits alone on a desk. I place my keys next to the laptop and sit down. Seen but no reply. Maybe he’s hurt.

I grab the keys to my car that lay next to my laptop and head out the door.

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34 Comments on 'Seen But No Reply'

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  • Max
    Commented on December 11, 2014 at 9:40 am

    I think this is a very effective and creepy short story. Though it seems to build up to something back, it shows the simple fact of a delusional, schizophrenic person

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  • Commented on December 8, 2014 at 5:39 pm

    My thoughts:
    With the way it’s written, there’s no way of knowing whether he just went back to the same place or went to another. Or if there is I haven’t noticed (sorry).
    Also there seems to be no conversation going on and neither is there going to be since if that’s how the cycles going to continue then the person will just keep going back to checking for a reply whenever he faces the laptop. I don’t know (dunno, dunno, dunno…)

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  • Commented on November 9, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    It’s… pretty good, but i gotta vote for 3/5
    I mean yeah it’s a bit creepy, but what was the point? She/he’s talking to herself/himself?
    I was expecting that there was a dead body there and she/he looked at the computer then blah blah blah.
    I was expecting a twist, but this is too… meh, boring.

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  • Commented on January 5, 2015 at 8:26 am

    I think this story would really benefit from a workover.

    The initial idea is interesting and I do like the twist (which though is hard to get, that one clue is easily missed), but there is no chance to build any tension with that length.

    Anyway I think the concept is promising and would seriously recommend to develop the story further

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  • Commented on December 31, 2014 at 4:52 am

    Wew, this is probably a short mindfuck creepypasta.
    Little bit creepy.

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  • Commented on November 15, 2014 at 1:30 am

    so he was just talking to himself? and it goes like that on and on and on forever? good but… meh wasn’t really scary… Really really well written though nice

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  • Commented on December 10, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Great pasta also everybody that is confused it’s called a loop.

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  • Commented on March 24, 2016 at 2:44 pm

    The last sentence should say, “After eight minutes, I grab the keys to my car that lay next to my laptop and head out the door.

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  • Commented on April 8, 2016 at 11:05 am

    This was different, I like it. Good work

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  • Alex
    Commented on December 12, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    It looks to me that he/she has a thought that he/she is messaging herself/himself thinking it’s another person.

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  • Commented on January 12, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    I thought I was well written, but kind of left everyone wanting more. Like as I read on, I thought it was building up to something shocking, I expected their to be something waiting for him/her. Well written but needs more detail, I look forward to future stories from this author. rate: 3/5

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  • TheKindGhost54
    Commented on January 20, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    I think he/she’s “forever alone,” he/she made two facebook accounts

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  • Commented on March 13, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    This confused me for a second, but now I get it :). Really effective and nice work! 🙂 Only negative comment for me is……..You should really let us know what gender the person is. Unless they’re both guys and if so it’s fine 🙂

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  • lexi
    Commented on April 28, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    That actually fucked with my brain.

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  • Commented on October 5, 2015 at 2:10 am

    I think the story has a great foundation. I love paradoxes or the illusion of one, but that’s the problem. This needs to be re done to either confirm a paradox, or the fact that the main character is nuts. Either way, add some meat and this pasta would be complete.

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  • Commented on October 18, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    For such a short Pasta that was great! I love this pasta so much! 5/5

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  • Commented on February 22, 2016 at 6:09 pm

    Love it

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  • Commented on March 24, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    The last sentence should say, “After eight minutes, I grabed the keys to my car that lay next to my laptop and head out the door.

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  • Commented on July 3, 2016 at 10:33 pm

    This just goes to show, you don’t need extensive gore or descriptive creatures to make a good story.

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  • Commented on February 28, 2016 at 11:45 pm

    Short, but effective. My favorite type of scary stories are like this; not too long and don’t explain too much, but leave the job to the imagination a little bit. Well, written.

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  • Commented on September 7, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    I loved it. Got confused at the end but then after looking at it over and over for a minute I got it. Great Pasta!

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  • cjblack
    Commented on November 24, 2016 at 10:02 am

    maybe put stories like this in a separate section … where are the scary ones??

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  • Commented on December 1, 2016 at 1:15 am

    waiting for bae to reply

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  • Commented on April 28, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    So does that mean that she is insaine?

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  • Commented on October 1, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    I don’t really get it…but it was interesting to read.

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  • Commented on November 13, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Pretty confusing

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  • Commented on June 2, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    And your point is..? -_- I see what you were tryna get at and all but really..? That’s how you try to convey it..?

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  • Commented on December 31, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    i don’t really get it?

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  • Afjal
    Commented on November 7, 2014 at 6:34 am

    hi,

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  • Commented on December 30, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    is his/her friend even real…that last part confused me

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  • Commented on January 29, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    I don’t like this if should be longer and more to the point

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  • jess
    Commented on August 15, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    umm im 11 years old and i deffinatally didnt get it i mean i seriously thought there would be a twist like that person was in some type of coma and he/she went to the old apartment that he/she friend lived in………… you know yata yata yata good but keep working on it.

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  • Commented on December 8, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    This isn’t creepy, and it doesn’t make any sense.

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  • Commented on March 24, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    uuhhhh…..i dont get even a single word of this story…who reviewed this anyways?

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