Smile

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I hate my life. I just made some new friends at this stupid school, and now I have to move again because of my father’s stupid new job. We’re moving to the other side of the country. I just wish we could stay in a town for more than a few months, but no. Every job just gets better and better, so we have to move. I’d been doing some research on the new town we were moving into. I’ll just say that there are some pretty messed up headlines for this place. Most of them about kids going insane, some murders here and there. Nothing shocks me anymore considering some of the places that I’ve been.

When we arrived, I got out of the U-Haul truck, and looked up at the huge mansion-looking house.

“Really? Is a house this big necessary for your ‘needed office space’?” I say in sarcastic tone, looking at the dead grass surrounding this house.

“Jordan, watch your tone!” My mother hisses at me.

“He’s just going through his puberty years.” My dad says, chuckling under his breath.

“Doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t be disrespectful.” My mom says, and I walk into the house carrying my things. I I look around the dark house, and at the peeling wallpaper on the walls. There are still several pictures of the old family that lived here before they left. My parents walk into the house behind me holding some of their stuff, and I look at them questioningly.

“Do you know what happened to the family that was here? Back in 1950-something?” I ask.

“We do, but can we discuss it at dinner? We should get most of our stuff away first.” My father says, and I agree. I walk upstairs, pick a smallish square room, and set my boxes down. I look around the empty room, and put my hands in my hoodie pockets. Along one wall, there are three windows. Two are square, and one is an oval. On the opposite wall, there are two wooden closet doors that look like they could turn to ash at the touch. There is a small bed along the wall next to the closet doors, and a huge wall space. I open the box with my posters of bands, and look up. A boy, who looks to be about 17 or 18, was standing in front of me. He had dark hair, blue eyes, and an ugly stained blue shirt with a black jacket. He wore ripped jeans, and brown muddy boots.

“O-Oh. I didn’t know someone was in here..” I said cautiously, standing up. The boy just looked at me. He didn’t say a word, and he didn’t move a muscle. He just stared at me.

“You gonna talk, or..?” I said, inspecting him a bit. He looked like a normal teen. Except for his unnaturally thin body and pale skin, and the bottom half of his face is covered by a mask.

“Okay… Well I think it’s time you left,” I say as I bend down to pick up another box to set it on the bed. When I stand back up, I’m the only person in the room. Everything is normal, except for muddy boot prints where the boy was standing.

“That’s…odd…” I look around the floor to see if he left anything else, but there were no other prints. I look over at the bed, and see a bit of white sticking out from under the sheets. I walk over to the bed, pull out the paper, and turn it over to see a photo. A photo of a family. There was a mother, father,two sons, and a daughter. Almost immediately, I recognize one of the sons. It was the boy who was just in my room. I turn the photo over again, looking for a date.

“July 18th, 1952…” I read aloud to myself, and I look around the room once more. That’s… impossible. I know what happened to this family. They were killed. I wanted to tell my parents this, but of course ‘it has to wait till dinner’. I know that it was one of the children that murdered the family, but I just… I just can’t remember which one it was… Joseph, I think. That’s all I can remember from my research about this family. I set the remaining boxes on my bed, and unpack. I open the closet doors carefully, and see that there is still some old clothes from the family. The top half of a mask, some jackets and button down shirts, and some pairs of shoes and boots. I put my clothes on the hangers inside, and put them away. I also put some stuff that has no place in my room on a shelf at the top of the closet.

We decided to get takeout from a nearby Japanese restaurant. As I scarf down some teriyaki chicken and fried rice, my mothers says something quite interesting.

“Jordan, we know you’ll hate us for this,” She begins, as I look up at her.

“The family that was here before us… They were murdered..”

“Oh. I knew that already.” I say, and go back to eating my chicken.

“What? Excuse me, but I don’t remember-” My father starts, but remembers about my obsession with history.

“You did your research, didn’t you..” He says, looking down.

“Of course! Can’t move into a new house without any kind of warning without doing research.” I say, eating more chicken and rice.

“Did you know that one of the sons were convinced that he was telekinetic?” I say with a bit of a chuckle. My parents can’t help but laugh a bit, too. After dinner, we go to our bedrooms, and sleep.

After having several awful nightmares of rapid, flashing images, I jumped up awake, at around 2 AM. I look around the room, then rub my eyes. I look at my feet, to see a doll at the foot of my bed.

“The fuck..?” I say quietly to myself, not wanting to wake up my parents. I slowly sit up, and lean over to the doll. It’s beady eyes seem to… follow me. I pick it up, look at it, and throw it under my bed. When I go to sit up on the bed, the boy from earlier is right in front of me. His face is inches from mine. I yelp, and jump back. After a minute…

“Wait… are you..?” I ask in a whisper.

“My name… is Joseph…” I hear a voice from behind me say. It was raspy and low in tone, and was creepy in general.

“You’re the..”

“Yes, I am…” He says, without moving his mouth.

I start to tremble. He should be dead. This shouldn’t be happening.

“Oh, I’m dead alright. And don’t worry. You can join us.” He says. He takes off the mask, to reveal a terrifying smile. It stretches from ear to ear, and it’s held shut with stitches. He opens his mouth to show his full smile, and breaks the stitches in the process. Black chunky blood starts oozing out of the cuts in his cheeks, and he holds up his hand.

“You’ll just need some… modifications..” He says, smiling evilly. I start to back up, but hit the headboard of the bed. He spreads his fingers, and my mouth opens. He slowly clenches his fist, and my cheeks start to burn. I start to scream as the corners of my lips get torn in half. Surely enough, my dad bursts through the door.

“Who the hell are you?!” My father screams. He grabs his shotgun, and fires. The bullets pass straight through the creature on top of me, and the black blood drips on me. The creature clenches his fist harder, and my cheeks get even more torn. My father runs up, and hits this thing in the head with the butt of the gun. He falls back, and grunts in pain.

“Jordan, get out of here! Go to your mother!” My dad yells. I get up, and run to my parents’ bedroom. I grab my mothers arm, and hide in the closet with her. We hide behind layers of clothes. I can see my mother and a sliver of the door to the bedroom. We are completely silent, a warm blood drips down my cheeks and onto my shirt. The black blood from that… that thing is still on me. We hear three shots of the gun, then a loud thud. After a few seconds, that demon walks into the room, holding my father’s arm. He drops my dead dad the the ground, and wipes his bloody hands on his jeans. I look at my mother, who is crying into her shirt, and hold one finger to my lips. She nods, and covers her mouth. Joseph, as he calls himself, smiles again. He walks over to the closet, and opens the doors. My and my mother hold my breath.

“You humans are so idiotic.” He holds his hand up, snaps his fingers, and my mother gets dragged out of the closet. He holds his hand up, and my mother practically levitated into the middle of the room. He makes some sort of twisting motion with his hands, and my mother’s legs snap backwards. She gives out a blood curdling scream, and I cover my ears and cry. This is just a dream… This can’t be real… This is impossible! My mother drops to the floor, and, with one foot, Joseph steps on her throat. My mother’s screams go silent as I watch the life escape from her eyes.

“Two down, One to go.” Joseph says in his low, demonic voice. He gives out a loud cackle. He takes out a needle and thread, and starts to sew his own mouth up again. I pull out my phone, and silently call 911.

“Hello. This is 911. What’s your emergency?” The dispatcher asks.

“H-Help me.. There’s… There’s someone in my house…” I say in a whisper. I look at Joseph as he finishes stitching his mouth.

“Alright. We are tracking your address now, and the police should be there in about 5 minut-” My phone’s battery depletes.

“Dammit!” I whisper yell to myself.

I’m a goner. I think he sees me. His blue eyes are staring at me through my closet door. I can see his stitches that line his psychotic smile, and they make me sick. I can see the dark energy flowing from his hands as he looks at me. I don’t know how long I’ll survive anymore. The police should be here in 5 minutes, but I know he’ll have me dead before then. I hold back tears as I see my mother sprawled across the floor, her broken legs out of view. He holds up his hand, and she goes flying away, out of sight.

“Mom!” I scream, covering my mouth right after. He looks at the closet, and walks towards me.

“I know you’re in here, you little brat!” He says as he rips the closet doors apart. I scream for someone, anyone, to come and help, but everyone’s dead. He grabs my arm, and throws me out of the closet. My head crashes against the window, and cracks the thick glass. He walks over to me, his brown stained boots making prints on the hardwood floor. He raises his hand, clenches it into a fist, and the last thing I hear is my neck snapping, and everything went black.

Original Author:

57 Comments on 'Smile'

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  • Voodoo
    Commented on September 25, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    The fact that it’s a cliche and is so rushed makes it so bad. It didn’t creep me out at all and the whole “moving away and moving to a haunted house then dying” is sooooo boring

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  • Commented on November 14, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    Several problems here:
    1.How could this be in first person if the main character is dead?

    2. There’s next to no background here. The character just so happens to know that there was a murder at the house. The first portion of the story should have been more then just “oh I researched the town” it should have gone into more detail about how he’s a history buff and how he found out about the house.

    3.This story wasn’t that scary, despite the gore. There should be WAY more background and characterization of the antagonist before he starts killing people. Maybe make it a mystery type story where the main character learns over time how Joseph turns into a monster and then have him get attacked. Also gore =/= horror. If you want to make something scary, build it up with suspense, THEN show the gore (but don’t do as much gore as you did here, which brings me to my next thing).

    4. Build up character more in the parents. I didn’t care about them, so when they died it wasn’t that impactful. It would have been much better if we were able to like the parents first before they died.

    5. There are things that just make no sense in the story. Was the dad’s gun next to the door? why did the mom and child hide in the closet instead of running outside and calling for help?

    6.My biggest personal issue with this story is the “smile” cliche here. Quick tip for new writers, making a serial killer who smiles all the time isn’t original or scary. In fact, having any kind of creature smile in a creepypasta has become so cliche it hurts. If you want to write a story where your creature smiles, please give it a good reason for it. Don’t have the reason be “it enjoys to hurt people” or “it smiles bc its evil”. Or, better yet, just don’t have it smile at all.

    Overall this story needs help. This sounds a little similar to those serial killer creepypastas (which usually aren’t that good). I’d recommend reading some better well written creepypastas like “it has no face” or “the zookeepers” to get a good sense of the suspense build up.

    Overall I’ll give this a 3/10

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  • Commented on September 8, 2017 at 7:49 am

    Wicked cool.
    Next time I move house I think I might just do a background check just in case . You never know what crazy ass freaks could have lived there before you so why risk your life and have someone turn you into the newest news story or better still a awesome creepypasta (actually that wouldn’t be so bad).
    Love it . 10/10

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  • Commented on November 2, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    Oh mah gawds!!! That was spoopy and very, VERY creepy. I LOVE IT!!! You should do more like these. Very capturing and made me believe that this actually happened. Who knows, maybe it did…

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  • Commented on September 18, 2017 at 8:30 pm

    I agree with xii, a dead person couldn’t write a story. unless there was a medium listening to the story.

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  • Commented on February 4, 2018 at 6:09 am

    Interesting idea, but honestly – needs more work. Good writing and grammar, but the story is what needs work.

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  • Commented on August 27, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    I quite liked it, but I think the characters were slightly cookie-cutter and the end was a slight cop out, but the main story was quite creepy! 6.5/10

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  • Commented on October 3, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    The story needed a bit more clarity but i’ll give this story a 5 just to be fair. you are welcome 😉

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  • Commented on October 6, 2017 at 10:43 am

    My god this story is just plain dumb, because one, How can the protagonist of this story be telling it if he’s DEAD? Two, it’s cliche and just…not that interseting.

    It could’ve been a lot better.
    0.5/10

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  • jessie
    Commented on September 3, 2017 at 11:08 pm

    it all happened so fast but i like it

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  • Commented on September 21, 2017 at 6:40 am

    Honestly is was around a 5.4/10 it was decent but there was a few missing parts

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  • DICXKASFD
    Commented on September 3, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    XD SCARY

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  • Commented on September 18, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    and that is why i research the town before i go there

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  • Commented on September 19, 2017 at 4:17 am

    It was creepy but no background really, it makes me want to do a background check on our house, i know that a baby died there and a strange thing is that all the rooms inside have the locks on the outside of the room…as if there meant to be used to lock somebody/something in.

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  • xii
    Commented on September 8, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    How could a dead person write a story?

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  • Commented on September 16, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    That was good. There was a few grammar mistakes, but besides that, it’s a good story.

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  • Commented on October 5, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    It felt WAAAAAAAAY too short.

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  • Commented on October 18, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    This story is very strange. There is almost no buildup at all, and it is quite cliche. In future pastas I would suggest checking tenses.

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  • Commented on August 28, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    unfortunately this story felt a little cheesy to me to the point that i started imagining joseph in a little jumpsuit with a striped shirt and orange fuzzy hair..
    i would say this story does have potential though, but maybe a better backstory

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  • Commented on September 6, 2017 at 3:00 am

    Its good but it could be better with more backstory. It felt short

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  • Commented on September 24, 2017 at 12:09 am

    that scared me lot

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  • Blondelefty
    Commented on October 1, 2017 at 5:42 am

    Needs a lot of work. Try to build on the presence of the protagonist, and also, stop with trying to be gory. It doesn’t work. Keep trying. There is some potential here, but not right now.

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  • Commented on October 10, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    Why would it be a mansion if they were moving around a lot? That wouldn’t make sense if they were only going to stay there for a few months or so.

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  • Commented on October 13, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    bro that was creepy the most creepy one i have read if i had to rate it would get a 10/10

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  • katie
    Commented on October 18, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    this was so cool and actually had me on the edge of my seat which nothing does

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  • Commented on October 18, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    pretty cool, I wish for a longer ending

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  • Commented on November 21, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    not too shabby

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  • Commented on December 15, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    This one was…different. But I liked it 7/10

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  • Commented on January 12, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    I love the story, but could there be another story explaining what happened to Jordan. Did he die or did he join Joseph? Unless you want to leave that part miss, that’s cool too. Either way it’s a good story.

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  • Commented on September 13, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    I like the beginning very much)))

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  • Commented on October 8, 2017 at 2:10 am

    well i think it could be better but i like it i would give it a . . . 4 out of 5

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  • Commented on October 18, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    nobody lives

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  • Catwoman
    Commented on October 20, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    It needs work. Didn’t know dead people can write.

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  • Commented on November 6, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    I liked it but I expected a better ending. It was way to fast and predictable. He hides, He gets found, he dies. But other than the ending, I thought it was great! keep it up. 7.3/10

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  • Commented on November 7, 2017 at 11:52 am

    legit

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  • Commented on November 16, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    i think you switched tenses alot, maybe stick to one next time. but overall pretty good story

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  • Commented on November 16, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    and if you’re dead ,how did you write it? XD

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  • Imran
    Commented on November 17, 2017 at 9:12 am

    Writer is dead, and still writes it all down lol

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  • Commented on December 8, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    Oh no! Please don’t kill me! I’m innocent!

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  • Commented on December 8, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    Don’t kill me

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  • Commented on January 8, 2018 at 10:23 pm

    That was the best creepy pasta i have ever seen

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  • Commented on January 13, 2018 at 10:44 pm

    Hello im a little knok youtube (0 subs) i was wondering if i could use your story in a video so i could try to get popular my chanel name is marshall comerford just to let you know

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  • Commented on January 18, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    Well pretty nice) That is your first story?

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  • Commented on January 19, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    this is a really good story

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  • Commented on January 27, 2018 at 7:13 pm

    There is the issue of the tense change, and I think this is a little rough around the edges, but overall I liked this. Can’t go wrong with a good haunted house story, in my opinion.

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  • Commented on August 28, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    What did I just read

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  • Ben x Jeff isn't so bad
    Commented on September 21, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    I think it was great but tbh if he showed up on my bed like that, i would know he was dead and I’d cry and hug him telling him that I’m sorry that it happened to him and that it wasn’t his fault

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  • Commented on October 9, 2017 at 12:42 am

    Creepy at times but rushed and poorly written. I’ll give your creep 4/5, creativity 3/5, and your story telling ability 2/5. Needs some improvements but keep writing!

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  • Commented on December 8, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    I’m scared

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  • Commented on February 22, 2018 at 2:57 am

    Is this a dream? This would be a sucky way to die….

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  • Hayli Anderson
    Commented on March 12, 2018 at 12:23 am

    Wow

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  • Commented on May 5, 2018 at 2:04 am

    I read this and now I’m legit terrified to sleep tonight considering I JUST moved houses. Thanks a lot. Good story btw

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  • iamlegend
    Commented on May 15, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    well it was a nice little story and i love the feeling of helpless ness it gave me and when it got our hopes up with his dad running then they were instantly dashed amazing

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  • Commented on June 2, 2018 at 1:03 pm

    the storyline just seems like Amityville Horror to me: new house where a whole family was killed. Escalated too quickly.

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  • Mirandier senpai
    Commented on August 27, 2017 at 9:50 am

    man .. are u kiding me … u se to tag as reality then u said ur neck was snapped and how are you even wrighting this down then …. ps nice story xd
    ps this might be weird since i know all abouot telekenism and when u died ur just an energy from ur body and telekenism is just transfering ur energy to and object and to make this shorsst u must fight fire with fir with ghost to stop them your self lolol ok good luck xd

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  • Commented on May 2, 2018 at 7:27 pm

    Awful. I won’t repeat everything DarkPen wrote because that would be completely redundant. Awful. Telekinesis? No dice.

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  • Commented on September 7, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    The only thing scary about this story is how cliche and poorly written it is. How did the monster demon ghost thing destroy the closet you were both in kill your mother but not notice you? Did you instantly teleport into another closet at the exact moment he opened it only for that closet to be ripped apart and you killed? You must have teleported into another plain of existence because you somehow posted a story in 5 minutes and then changed tenses 50 times before you died. Why does your creature sew his mouth shut and then immediately speak again?

    Pick a tense, learn to write real dialogue, think of an original idea, or stop writing. Absolutely atrocious. I’d give you more constructive criticism but I need to dig the tumors out of my brain first.

    1/10

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