Tongues

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I’ve never been a very sociable kid. To be completely honest, I’ve never really seen the point of it. People talk about the same things over and over again. Meaningless things. The weather. The weekend. Work. School. As I’ve gotten into my late teens, I’ve grown to loathe it. Whenever I hear the kids in my classes or in the halls talking about the same old crap and giggling my blood boils. People avoid me mostly, which can be expected. A few of the more brutish kids pick on me, but I just ignore them. I spend my weekends alone, indoors. I like to play the piano in my spare time. It’s very… therapeutic. It’s like my meditation. When I’m playing it I usually think about life. I think about people, and my general dislike towards them, I think about the kids who pick on me at school and I think about the recent disappearances of kids in my surrounding area.

They were all kids of similar age to myself, mostly girls, some even from my school, my classes. There have been eight in total; I’ve been keeping track of them you see. I follow their stories in the newspapers quite closely. I’m very keen on what the police find at the scene and always keep an eye out for any evidence they find that might lead them to the killer. The profiles are always the same. They are usually discovered in back alleys or in ditches always with their throats slit in a clean and precise manner. The curious part, that the police can’t seem to figure out, is why the victims always have their tongues removed. Ripped out from their jaws – and I quote the newspaper when I say this – “While the victims were still alive”. They say it’s the worst serial killing they’ve had in my country for years. The killer is calm, meticulous, and leaves not one shred of evidence at the crime scenes.

Whatever the reason, my classes have been getting noticeably quieter as the noisiest of the kids have one by one gone missing, only to be found days later, mutilated and dumped as if they were trash. It’s so much more pleasant, I can concentrate properly now. There’s still one girl in my class though, who really grinds my gears with her high pitch whiny voice and that piercing laugh that seems to penetrate deep into my skull every time I have the displeasure of hearing it. I heard her again today, loud and irritating as usual, and couldn’t help thinking that she used that tongue of hers far too much. I might even go as far to say that she didn’t deserve to have it at all.

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41 Comments on 'Tongues'

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  • pooperoni
    Commented on July 12, 2016 at 9:02 am

    The grinds my gears made me imagine Peter Griffin

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  • Commented on July 24, 2016 at 4:55 am

    This was a well written story, but it is honestly a little too predictable. 7/10

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  • Commented on July 5, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    Not bad. Well written.

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  • Commented on July 6, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Very good. Try for a bigger pasta next time.

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  • Commented on July 12, 2016 at 2:16 am

    Not too bad, work on leading into the climax and try to give it more of a background story

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  • Commented on July 22, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    Although decently written and entertaining to read, the idea is mediocre and the story, unfortunately, is far too short.

    The idea that high-school kid could overpower and sever a tongue while the victims were still conscious and then murder them without leaving a shred of evidence behind is kind of far fetched. My suspension of disbelief can only stretch so far.

    Also, the whole ”insane teenager with super powers” trend is getting old and tiresome on this site.

    4/10

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  • Realistical420
    Commented on July 20, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    The last sentence in the first paragraph makes the climax very predictable he just adds in the disappearances seemingly out of nowhere lol some meditation

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  • Commented on August 1, 2016 at 8:56 am

    I think this is well written based on how fluid the voice went through revealing his/her emotion but it is quite predictable and I’m personally not fond of the bratty psychopath voice. Having said that, I do hope the author can work on a more (not necessarily likable but) defined character.

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  • Commented on July 9, 2016 at 11:21 pm

    Great work here.

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  • Commented on August 1, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    I enjoyed it and it’s a great foundation but I feel as though you could’ve built more on top of it. The best stories I find are ones that end with a “clincher”, something that makes the reader gasp or widen their eyes. Maybe add another line that makes the killer seem more sickening like adding the tongue to their collection, wearing or even eating their tongues. Other than the constructive criticism, it was a very nice read. 🙂

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  • Commented on July 14, 2016 at 6:27 am

    Not bad, well written. It was a tad predictable though.

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  • Commented on July 18, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    meh 3 out of 5 it was not bad but could use more of a climax

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  • Commented on July 9, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    I like this one, but it would be interesting to see the main character start doing the same thing as the murderer. Or is the murderer in the first place. It seems he has the psychopathic mentality to do that. It could make it more creepy and have more madness involved. I really like this writing style, as well.

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  • Commented on October 13, 2016 at 11:14 am

    Great Creepy Pasta!

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  • Commented on July 10, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    Very well written.

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  • Commented on July 12, 2016 at 12:15 am

    Amazing & well written.

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  • DΓΞΚΛDΞ
    Commented on July 12, 2016 at 9:09 am

    Not bad at all.

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  • Commented on July 15, 2016 at 2:57 am

    I enjoyed your story. Short and to the point.

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  • Commented on July 22, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    This is a fun story to read! Sadly, I must say I’m one of those chatty people, so I’d be so dead. XD

    Any who, I’d be very much interested in ready your story on my Creepypasta channel! May I please do so? I promise that with every story I read, I credit the original writer.

    If you’d like, here is my group channel. A few of the ones read by me, for your convenience, are Shock Factor, Obsessive Compulsive, and Reflections with a Mind of Its Own. Thanks so much in advance, and God bless!

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  • Commented on April 30, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    Decent read, nothing great

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  • Commented on July 11, 2016 at 4:34 am

    Wow. I really like this one.

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  • Commented on August 28, 2016 at 1:32 am

    2spooky4me

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  • Commented on August 28, 2016 at 2:11 am

    Not bad at all, but maybe work on writing longer so you can add more to the story, more details and climax. I really enjoyed it though!

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  • Commented on September 23, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    Could’ve been better but it was good

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  • Commented on September 23, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    very good and not very long which made it better

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  • Commented on September 24, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    I don’t like talking and I used to play the piano, and it does irritate me to hear people talk about the same things over and over again…

    Welp anyway, I LOVED IT!! Good job!

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  • Commented on December 29, 2016 at 7:40 am

    Let’s cut them tongues!

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  • Commented on July 27, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    Pretty good I liked it.
    http://www.creepypasta.org/pending/ray-reborn

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  • Commented on July 28, 2016 at 3:35 am

    Enjoyed! Goodvwork.

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  • Commented on September 18, 2016 at 9:56 pm

    Aww, it’s so short. I was wanted more. Oh, well. Wonderful job. ^^ Oddly enough, I connected rather well with the protagonist of your pasta. @_@

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  • Commented on September 29, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    Haha, that’s a great one

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5_i2HJwQq4

    Gruesome Grim Is reading it!

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  • Commented on October 3, 2016 at 3:19 am

    I liked it, short and got to the point, but I think if it was more creepy it’d be better.

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  • Commented on July 6, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    Wow I can seriously relate to this, more information or a longer pasta would be nice.

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  • Commented on July 12, 2016 at 6:18 am

    This is pretty good! NOM, NOM NOMF.

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  • Commented on July 12, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    This one is really good. Congrats!

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  • Commented on July 24, 2016 at 6:12 am

    Good

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  • Commented on July 24, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    Finally, another good story! I just wish it had more of a dramatic cliffhanger like some of them do.

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  • Commented on August 9, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    Good plot, original… I like it

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  • Commented on July 15, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    Very nice and scarily relatable.

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  • Commented on July 25, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    wow this explains me alot lol. for some reason at the point where he said my blood boils i thought of the meme with the little boy screamin im triggered.

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  • Commented on December 7, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Wait he’s the murder omy god that is awesome. This was amazing please keep up the good work.

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