Have you ever experienced the typical thunderstorm as your head lay sleepily upon your pillow as a kid? I believe we all have many a time. Were you scared? I’m sure a good portion of you were. Of what though? The gusting winds? The hammering thunder? The epileptic lightning flashes that seep through your windows blinding you as fear seeps into your mind from the unknown frenzy outside? Or maybe its…the tree branches. Rapping against your windows. Watching the dark cast its aura transforming it into a nightmarish silhouette of your worst nightmares, your eyes transforming it to the worst possible thing.
A monster. A monster with long lanky limbs and a deformed grotesque body. Sharp red eyes pierce through your soul as it stares at you, tapping its large pointed finger along the glass of your window sometimes scraping at it, hissing at you as it stares at your feared form hiding under the covers laughing as it watches you shake. You can only think of what it would want with you or do with you. Take you away, kidnap you….eat you even? Digging into your flesh with this sharp jagged teeth. Or maybe it’s a bit more devious? It could tear you limb from limb and wear bones as jewelry. You’re pretty much to scared to think of the horrendous things the branch atrocity could do. But instead you fall asleep as you wear your mind out and wake up to find only a healthy beautiful tree staring at you from outside dripping with water.
Now I thought nothing of it the time the next storm rolled in a few weeks later. I sat and watched TV aimlessly that Friday night, played my X-Box and headed off to sleep looking out the window thinking something was missing…something was off but I shrugged it off and headed to sleep. As my eyes lay shut it hit. Tap-Tap-Tap. The grotesque branch monster. I hid under my covers yet again throwing the invisible imaginary invulnerability shield over me. I shook myself a bit and waited….and waited…and soon enough to my pleasure it tapping disappeared. I popped my head out only to keep telling myself…”Its only a tree….its only a tree…..” as I attempted to fall back asleep.
My eyes closed and sleep fell over me until the tapping returned yet again. But it was different this time. There was no sound associated with this tapping. It was a sharp tapping. One that occurs from physical touch. Physical, sharp, jagged pain tapping into my side. I opened my eyes, the tapping still sticking me in the side. I lay there in shock. In shock at the mass of tree branches sitting in my room. Its red eyes staring at me. Tree branches don’t’ have red eyes do they?
11 Comments on 'Tree Branches'
” the tapping returned yet again. But it was different this time. There was no sound associated with this tapping. It was a sharp tapping. One that occurs from physical touch. Physical, sharp, jagged pain tapping into my side.”
Jesus that’s cringe reading there. The word you’re looking for is not “tapping”, it’s poking. Or stabbing. Something was not “tapping into” your side, it was poking you. The effort you’ve put into basically saying, “Something started jabbing me in the side” while trying to connect it with the tapping is admirable, but really poorly carried out.
The description of the tree tapping the window was nice and kept my interest. Then it got kind of off track. When you added in the story of you, it got kind of weird. It could be a little better. I feel like you kind of rushed the ending. Just putting the tree monster in your room. You could also better describe the scenes. When you first heard it and the bed scene. The first couple of paragraphs showed real potential, so it’s obvious you can write. Take your time, okay? It really shows when you do.
Let’s see how many dislikes this comment can get!
I think it is good and lots of people can relate to tapping of trees on the window.I didn’t expect them to be in his room!!
Trees do indeed have eyes. We just don’t see them because they’re always closed…until we look away.
You know, it started out pretty good. What I liked was how you associated those early fears with probably every reader. We’ve all been there and I especially liked the line about the invisible invulnerability shield that our blankets provide us as children. I TRULY wanted wanted to like this story…and then it fell apart. As another reader noted, the repetitive use of tapping rather than using relative descriptions makes the intended horror fall flat. The ending should have been built up prior to the final event.
It was a nice story though I must suggest you must not used the same word ‘tapping’ repetedly.
I think this could be a really fantastic creepy pasta but I believe if you thought through the ending a little bit it could have taken it to another level.
dude as i was reading this i heard tapping in my room
lost the creep when it came closer to the end. and i agree that tapping was the wrong word
[spoiler]lol you looked