Whistling

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The whistle is considered one of the happiest sounds on earth by many. I’m not one of those people. I hate the sound of whistling. Another thing I hate is the tune of “Oh, Susanna.” I can’t bare to hear the two combined. Not after that night.

It started on the night before my final, I was only in highschool, and I was trying to pull an all-nighter studying for it. While studying, I began to whistle absent-mindedly. It started with just random notes, nothing too advanced, then slowly I began whistling melodies that were familiar to me, “Pop Goes the Weasel,” “Ring Around the Rosies,” and then finally “Oh, Susanna.”

While whistling I heard the same tune being whistled behind me. I turned around quickly to the the sight of nothing. I continued studying, thinking it was just my imagination, and again, I began whistling, picking up where I left off. My lips soon got tired, so I started to hum. To my absolute horror, the whistling started up again. I turned around again, afraid for my own sanity, but this time I saw a shadow on my wall. I thought nothing of it at the time and turned back to my studies.

A scream I couldn’t control escaped my throat.

In front of me was a shadow, my shadow. I turned around, hoping to see nothing, but to my dismay the shadow seemed darker. The whistling picked back up, and the shadow seemed to become solid.

I backed up as the faceless thing began to gain features. A logo slowly molded itself into the thing’s torso, eyes, ears, hair a nose and mouth molded themselves into the face. It looked like an exact replica of me. It took a step toward me and I blacked out. I later woke up and the shadow was nowhere to be seen.

Ever since then, I have hated the sound of whistling and “Oh, Susanna,” but even worse, I’ve had periods were I black out and wake up with blood on my hands or holding someone’s organs or something horrible. I remember nothing from this but one thing, I remember singing “Oh, Susanna.”

Oh, Susanna, don’t you cry for me. . .

Original Author: BentheProtector

22 Comments on 'Whistling'

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  • Commented on March 17, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    Not bad a little more detail would be nice, but it was good for being so short, I enjoyed it.

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  • Commented on March 25, 2015 at 8:53 pm

    I can’t really say that its bad it just good tillthe ending where I’ve had periods were I black out and wake up with blood on my hands or holding someone’s organs it really feal eh good but nothing to go crazy for.

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  • Commented on April 22, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Ending seems rushed. Holding someone’s organs? It could be interpreted in so many ways, the literal musical contraption, “inappropriate” acts for minors, or internal organs of organisms. I know which is which is obvious but this pasta could really use some gore.

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  • Commented on March 28, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    not bad could be better but well done

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  • Commented on April 14, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    I think the last bit was a little too much. I don’t think adding the whole organs thing was necessary.. :/

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  • Commented on July 24, 2015 at 6:08 am

    Decent pasta. The ending was a little more of a sledgehammer than it had to be. The whole holding someone’s organs thing could have been left out of that sentence and i think it would have been a little more powerful – let the reader’s imagination fill in the ‘something horrible’.

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  • Commented on November 30, 2015 at 11:41 pm

    Nice juxtaposition! I would have liked it to have a bit more to it, I feel like it ended before I was ready for it to end. Keep writing!

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  • Commented on March 16, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    That was really good BentheProtector this short pasta really gave me the chills so that means it was really good

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  • Commented on March 19, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    That was awesome…

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  • Thing In Your Closet
    Commented on March 20, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    it was really good i liked it

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  • Commented on March 20, 2015 at 8:31 pm

    I love this kind of short stories. It is short and scary and not too much unnecessary stuff to read.

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  • Commented on March 23, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    That was awesome! Bravo. ^-^

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  • Commented on March 24, 2015 at 7:45 am

    BRAVO!

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  • Commented on April 17, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    It was okay but why that song? I could think of something creepier

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  • Commented on May 15, 2015 at 4:54 pm

    Bystander42 I agree. The story isn’t good till the end, it makes you wonder.

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  • Commented on September 24, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    Not sure.

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  • Commented on January 20, 2016 at 3:45 am

    I agree with Dragonkin87.

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  • Commented on May 6, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Eh, It was very choppy. There wasn’t really much detail~ More edge.

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  • Commented on May 10, 2016 at 12:49 am

    Good to slip in that few seconds before you go to bed.

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  • AppleMuncher_
    Commented on March 23, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    Nice one there. It was short, but gave me the chills. Its hard to find a short story like this.

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  • GILLY25
    Commented on March 25, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    AWESOME!!! Good work! 5/5

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  • Commented on March 25, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    Very nice job. I really can’t whistle so yeah.

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