He & I


“Sit, Terry. We have a long summer ahead of us.” His voice seems almost to reach out and touch me as he speaks. But this is not a pleasant touch. It is a touch which turns the skin cold wherever felt, and it causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end.

His words seem hollow and faint, and float to my ears like a whisper. I have no proof they were ever spoken at all, save for the chill which they force down my spine.

He crawls along the floor, obscured in darkness, scraping His nails across the tile as He does so. A chair stands in the center of the room. He finds His way to the chair, and seats Himself upon it. He positions Himself facing away from me, as He always does, until I see nothing but the shadow of His back.

He first came to me years ago. How long exactly, I cannot recall. He is always with me. He lives in the painting beside my bed, you see.

Others who come here see only the portrait of a room, with dark walls and a light, tiled floor. A metal chair sits upon the floor, and save for that, the room is empty. The chair is rusted and worn, giving off the impression of having been there a very, very long time. There is only one door, located at the far side of the room. It is old, giving off the same ancient feeling as the chair.

Visitors to my room never pay the portrait much attention. If they had, perhaps they’d have noticed that the door’s blood-red paint had been clawed away, not chipped slowly by time and constant use as one might assume.

I have stared long and hard into His painting, and seen things which others care not to see. The door has been scratched, and the scratches sit like scars; the scars of a thousand fingernails, run across its surface, as if someone were trapped inside, and try as they may, could never leave. The scars of a thousand failed attempts.

Every night is the same. Each evening the tile in the portrait begins to shift, and He crawls up through the flooring, pulling His way across the ground to that one, old chair in the center of the room. I have never seen His face. When I look upon Him, all I can make out is darkness, and I can never see beyond the charade of this void.

I do not know who, or what, He is. And yet, He knows everything about me. He has been my dark passenger these long years, and never leaves, an unwelcome guest in this room He has made His own.

“Sit, Terry. We have a long summer ahead of us.” His voice induces shivers, and I feel as though I have spiders crawling up and down my body.

His painting sits across from my window, and outside He can see the last hours of a sunshiny day. Children play at a park across the street, and we can hear them, faintly.

“Listen to them. You will never be like them, Terry. You will always be here, with me. You will always be mine, and you will always feel my pain.” He raises His arm, and I see red. Blood drips slowly down His fingers, and onto the tile floor. I avert my eyes, only to catch a glimpse of another flash of red. But this is not His blood. I look down at myself, and see a gash appearing on my own arm. He is being especially cruel tonight. I rush to my dresser, and find a t-shirt, wrapping it around my arm to stop the bleeding. But the cut only grows.

I’ve had enough. Desperate now, I grab a shoe lying on my bed and hurl it as hard as I can at Him. I hear a terrible sound, and look away. When I finally gaze back to that side of the room, the portrait is gone. Bits and pieces of broken glass fill the floor, my shoe at the center of them.

Slowly, I make my way over and pick up one of the larger pieces of shattered glass. As I look into it, I see Him, seated on His chair. He is faced away from me, but as I stare, He slowly begins to turn. I tense as His body contorts to look into my direction. All breath leaves me as I finally see His face. His eyes are cold, but His mouth forms into a crooked smile upon His face. My face.

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24 Comments on 'He & I'

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  • Commented on September 1, 2015 at 3:42 am

    I liked how it was short and still could cause an impact in the reader, but it’s actual concept and the way it was written hinders the reader’s ability to know what is going on until the very end. And even when you get to the end, it still takes quite a lot of guessing to tell what has happened.

    What I could tell was that The narrator harmed himself, most likely slitting his wrist, and seems to be under the influence of some kind of inner demon, be it depression or just plain insanity. Now, there is nothing wrong with that, but at the same time, there isn’t really anything good. If it had, say, an ending that caused the narrator’s death, then I can see it as a better pasta, since then it would have a reason to end. But with the way it just ended, it makes the story feel bland, EVEN THOUGH it is a nice idea.

    The best thing to do is to maybe make another story similar to this one, but to give it an actual plot or maybe even a simple reason of why the person is insane. For me, there was nothing actually creepy about it. But, since I liked the basic idea of it, I give it a 3/5. The writing is good, and I can tell you have a nice way of being indirect with things to give a story more impact, but a story still needs to be easy to understand while being indirect enough to not have the reader’s hand held to the last period. Once you find out that balance, I can’t wait to see your next piece.

  • d
    Commented on September 1, 2015 at 3:51 am

    really good, once I thought about it. if my line of thinking is correct, it’s a mirror he’s looking into? the thing in the portrait is himself. there’s glass on the floor, shattered..portraits don’t usually have glass covers. at least none that I have seen maybe I’m wrong, thats just where my mind went based off the clues from the story. either way, it made me think, which is a sign of quality to me

  • Commented on September 1, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    I am perhaps of the opposite opinion of the other commenters. I feel the story was competently written but mostly predictable. Finding out that the narrator is really the “monster” all along is somewhat of a tired stereotype. I was hoping for something a little grander, a literal boogeyman as opposed to what this story offers.

  • Him
    Commented on September 2, 2015 at 3:47 am

    Hey guys, thanks so much for the feedback! I greatly appreciate your support and constructive criticism. The fact that you took the time to read my material and leave your thoughts means a lot. I will take what you have said with me as I move forward with future submissions.

  • Commented on September 2, 2015 at 9:34 am

    Writing short stories with a twist at the end requires a different writing technique, and I believe mastering this technique takes time. Good job so far, I’m looking forward to more of your works. 4/5

  • Commented on September 3, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    Wow this I might be new on here but this is a great story

  • Commented on September 4, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    Dude….. What the fuck?! That was awesome!!! Was he going through schizophrenia??

  • Commented on September 9, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Fucking awesome

  • Commented on September 9, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    I did a narration to this story

  • Commented on September 9, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Who throws a shoe?! Very well written but predictable. I feel your fourth paragraph came too late in the story and should have been second or third. Over all well told.

  • Leonidas Lion
    Commented on September 11, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    Wow, very short, very sweet. Plot good, shock value… Decent. Overall a good story.

  • Commented on September 11, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    First of all, I love the concept and the twist. These are my favourite kinds of stories that leave you thinking and piecing together the pieces (excuse the pun). I’m also a big fan of the psychological aspect of this story. Great work!

    Like some of the others have said, I just feel it could use a touch more exposition and build up.

  • brianna brown
    Commented on September 13, 2015 at 10:37 am

    i love this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Commented on September 14, 2015 at 12:31 am

    Please check out my video, about this story


  • Him
    Commented on September 14, 2015 at 3:57 am

    TheBrothersGrim666, I watched your video. It was very well put together and I really enjoyed it. I’m flattered you chose to do a reading of my story.

  • Commented on September 14, 2015 at 6:06 am

    Him, Thanks for watching, we really enjoyed reading your story.

  • Commented on September 14, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    whoa dude, I got some serious chills from this, I love it so much, great job!!!

  • Commented on September 14, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    its good but not the best i woulve perferd it be a little longer

  • Commented on September 15, 2015 at 9:54 am

    I agree with much of what has been written. It is a touch predictable, but it is very well written with some imaginative dialogue. The capitalization on the pronouns implies power and presence. The dark half of him could be reasoned to be the dominant half and the idea that I understand is not so much that he is a monster so much as he is a monster to himself. It actually serves as a terrifyingly poignant look at depression, but I may be reading too much into that. I would love the opportunity to discuss maybe getting this produced for Simply-Scary.com (a Chilling Tales For Dark Nights website). I don’t see a way to contact you but if you wanted to email me at micah.rodney@simply-scary.com I’d be happy to go into more detail!

    Either way, great work. I enjoyed reading this piece.

  • Commented on September 18, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    I enjoyed the story very much-though it was slightly predictable. good job, keep it up! I think I may do a narration.

  • Commented on September 21, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    This was a great read for me, was subtley predictable but I like that. I love that it was a narration and that it was a picture not a mirror. Great work!

  • Freddyman
    Commented on May 18, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    Love that story. Pretty good

  • Eva
    Commented on June 2, 2016 at 7:10 pm

    I like this story, because it’ seems like you’ve got used to the demon-thing living with you.

  • Commented on November 18, 2017 at 1:50 am

    Pretty good

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