A scream rang out. As I traced the auditory source of evident horror, I was led to my daughters room. I looked around quickly as I caught my breath from the reacting sprint, but nothing seemed out of place other than that tearing of a child under the bed. As I glimpsed at what might have caused any of this I noticed her new doll, limbs contorted, across the room.

Going over to the bed to console her, “Honey what’s wrong?”

Still sniffling, she managed to utter while shaking her finger towards the direction of the doll, “Its gonna hurt me!

I bent over to the doll causing her to turtle more under the bed and gave the doll a funny glimpse. It seemed to have a tidy set up, but the face gave an emotionless disheveled appearance. I walked over to the bed and got on all fours to reach my daughters face and held the doll next to me and gave it a shake

“See? Nothing’s wrong. It won’t hurt you honey. She just wants to play” I said with a grin, pulling my daughter out handing her back the doll in her shaking hands.

“Now be careful honey, and as for your friend, you wouldn’t hurt my precious girl, right?” I said jokingly and gave the dolls hair a rub.

“Right!” was the reply. My daughters lips never moved.

Original Author:

23 Comments on 'Right!'

Click Here to Display Comments
  • Commented on July 17, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    Wow. Never saw THAT ending coming. Good effort, but that’s been done before in a million different ways.

  • vampy
    Commented on July 17, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    well i thought it could have been good you cut the story of really short

  • Commented on July 18, 2015 at 1:34 am

    Awesome story love the ending

  • Commented on July 19, 2015 at 1:22 am

    I like this story but I feel it would have benefited from additional plot and character development. Additionally, I feel that the “scary doll” trope is really overused at this point and the narrative could have been improved by adding additional new and creative elements.

  • DD
    Commented on July 19, 2015 at 11:05 am

    “As I traced the auditory source of evident horror”

    “I caught my breath from the reacting sprint”

    “of place other than that tearing of a child under the bed”

    Who writes like this? You are not writing to impress. The style is horribly repulsive if anything.

  • Commented on July 23, 2015 at 9:06 am

    Kid must be a hell of a ventriloquist.

  • Commented on July 25, 2015 at 7:27 am

    damn…so dissatisfying

  • Commented on July 29, 2015 at 10:41 am

    Not bad, at least you hit the point of it being creepy

  • Commented on August 5, 2015 at 11:10 am

    I really liked this because there was doll in it :3

  • Commented on August 9, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    I really didnt see that coming but…. i loved it but it could use a bit of lenght and more of a backstory like where they got it how long they had it if it was developing………. other-wise i LOVE it 9/10 4.5/5

  • Commented on August 26, 2015 at 6:40 am

    This was something that just popped in my mind after watching Annabelle. It wasn’t really meant to be THAT original in the idea itself but I just did it for the slight creep factor. I kinda suck at writing so I wasn’t expecting it to go amazing with people but glad to see some people actually enjoyed it. If you didn’t sorry I didn’t tickle your bits enough.

  • Commented on August 30, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    Okay, the doll thing has been used so many times that it shouldn’t even be considered that creepy anymore and so in my opinion this story was plain stupid. Who would sit and read this one if they know there are creepier ones out there. Like really if it was longer it might have been creepier…

  • Commented on September 26, 2015 at 8:59 am

    The overused idea didn’t work since tiny stories depend on twist or shock value. It would’ve been fine if it had been used in a longer story where the writer can show his originality in adding to the plot and other details. That’s just what I think, though.

  • Commented on November 18, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    nice trick ending I like it fits

  • Commented on November 19, 2015 at 9:11 am

    Good one

  • Commented on January 26, 2016 at 12:12 am

    She’s a VENTRILOQUIST!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Commented on July 26, 2016 at 12:49 am

    Meh it could be good but the whole thing is just so unoriginal

  • Commented on October 18, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    It was rather simple. You could’ve tried to make it more twisted.

  • Commented on January 8, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    i loved the story, i found it interesting and it defo gave the creep factor at the end. Keep up the good work!

  • Commented on February 9, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    eh… its now bad, but I’ve seen better.

  • Commented on October 2, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    I enjoyed it

  • Commented on November 29, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    I like the story, but it’s not that original 7/10

  • Commented on January 5, 2018 at 8:29 pm

    Stereotypical story, but nice ending twist.

Leave a Comment

− 1 = four

Leave Feedback / Report Glitch