A cry woke me in the middle of the night. It’s as if a girl was trying hard to muffle her desperate cries of help so as to keep something from hearing her. My heart started to pound with fear as I was reminded of some scenes from horror films involving creepy, crying ghost girls. I badly wanted to wake my room mate who was sleeping across my bed but it is impossible to wake her up for she is such a heavy sleeper.
I didn’t dare open my eyes. I’ve heard some creepy stories about our dormitory but I don’t want them to experience first hand. So like a frightened child I hastily covered myself with my blanket and turned to face the wall. Ignoring the cries, I willed my scared self to get some sleep.
I woke up from an uneasy sleep the next day to see my room mate with a strange, frightened expression on her face.
“So you heard it too?” I hastily asked. “That creepy crying sounded horrible! I wasn’t able to sleep properly last night!”
With a haunted voice, she replied, “Th-that was me who was crying when I saw you levitating from your bed.”
26 Comments on 'The Cry'
More weird, than creepy but I liked it.
I think the concept really has potential. I do think that the finishing sentence needs to be a little more subtle, not so much hinting at exactly what she saw, but more that ‘something’ was terribly wrong, after all she could have been having a vivid nightmare. His room mate didn’t come across all that frightened in her sentence, too.
“I was reminded of some scenes from horror films involving creepy, crying ghost girls.”, i’m not sure if this detail is needed, to be honest. It made my head turn your story into something generic/cliche. I’d rather my mind create it’s own unique visions along with your story.
I’d love to see more from you! <3
LOVED IT. Why is this so under-rated?
Keep up the good work, fellow pasta lover.
strong ghost
whoa O_O love this. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to any future work from you.
Idk, i mean, i dont get the levitation part. Maybe it would be better if you added something about why or how she was levitating. But good job!
The only crying in this story was me when I read how bad it was.
not very good..i didn’t like the ending
what the…
hahaha : D got me good, real nice
I love the twist
I loved it! Hit me good at the end! ~taco
I actually like how the twist went. Here are just the things I thought after reading:
Realizing that the girl just somehow indirectly told her roommate, “You’re crying is creepy and horrible!” was a bit of a mood-breaker, even almost funny.
I’m wondering how she didn’t realize she wasn’t touching the bed with her back and even when she turned to her side.
Still, I appreciate shorts with twists that go like this.
Oh yay! Another plagiarist! Write your own story or don’t post. You’re lucky I’m not going to report you.
Ehh.. That was just random.
1/5
Mind officially blown. Kinda reminds me of Ghostbusters, when the chick is levitating over the bed.
At least its original
i would advise being a little more descriptive. I would love to hear more of ur work! Love it! 🙂
Mindfuck to the MAX!
Loved it 10/10
I’ve heard a story similar to this. Maybe if you had changed the ending to something more believable. As a previous user had noted, there’s no way she wouldn’t have noticed that she wasn’t laying on the bed. It could have had maybe a spirit or maybe even blood covered walls (although cliché, it might have had more of an affect) Over all, it isn’t the worst story I’ve read.
Loved it but why didn’t she feel it lifting it her up and how did she see her getting lifted up if she was such a heavy sleeper?;)
I’m a wizard!!!!
Wow O-O i wasn’t expecting that. Great story. Gave me goosebumps.
well actually Th3Fall3nAng3l5 he didn’t say that he made it, he just doesn’t know who did. BTW great story
wow that’s weird