The Patron Saint of the Good-Looking Corpse


“Come in friend and take a seat. My name? Call me Jack….I run this establishment. I’ve been working this bar for the better part of a hundred years. Got a nice stage, we got entertainment later if you’re sticking around?”

“Uh-huh. Well do you have time for a drink? Okay. What was that? The hundred years thing ? Yeah, friend, I’m a little older than I look. I’m a demon”

“I can tell from your expression that you’ve never bumped into one of us before. We do exist. I guarantee that by the end of this conversation, I’ll have swung your opinion. Don’t worry, I’m not a threat. Hardly good for business.”

“And my business is important to me. On that stage you’ll see some of the best talent in the biz. I consider myself a ‘talent scout’ without equal.”

“I specialise in contracts for fame and fortune. I can give the lucky individual ten years of their dreams and then I come to collect. In return they play at my club for the rest of eternity. They almost never think twice. One catch, though. I can only make this deal with them whilst they are 17.”

” I don’t know why, I don’t make the rules.”

“Who do I have? You probably know a few of them. The first guy I signed was something really special. Created an entire genre by himself. Kid by the name of Robert, a real demon on the guitar, if you’ll pardon the pun. It seems everyone and his brother knew about our deal, though. ”

“Yeah, the crossroads thing. Well, it did make subject easier when I was talking to later pitches. Thing with Robert is he wasn’t ready to give it up when I came to collect, so I had to grease the wheels, so to speak. Strychine poisoning can be incredibly painful, or so I hear.”

“This is the thing. They are happy for the trade at 17, but the moment they hit 27 it starts to consume them. it becomes all they can think about. Some will use it to drive them to write as much as they can. Others will try and use the as many distractions as possible to not think about it”

“You know, drugs, alcohol, women. The good things in life. Need a refill there, champ?”

“This one guy, Kurt, now he surprised me. He worked out how to summon me, against my will I might add. Yanked me right into his goddamned front-room. Just as I’m about to give the shaggy haired fool a piece of my mind, he pulls out a shotgun and says that he is breaking the deal”

“Blew his brains out right in front of me. I mean, come on?! The deals are binding. Killing yourself just gets you here faster. I am freaking demon. My kind invented fine print.”

“Another cat I should mention is Jimi. He was a rare one I tell you. The kid was tripping so hard when he got here, it took us a week to convince him he was dead. All he cared about was as long as he had a guitar to play. Now he plays every Friday night, packs the place out everytime”


“Come on, I’ve worked hard for them, and now they work hard for me. ”

“This bar is something I take pride in. I have some of the best entertainment in the world, and here I showcase it to any who know how to get here.”

“You don’t remember how you got here. Yeah, i’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Something tells me you’ve got a little more free time than you realise.”

“Fancy another drink?”

Original Author: The Silicon Lemming

16 Comments on 'The Patron Saint of the Good-Looking Corpse'

Click Here to Display Comments
  • Commented on June 9, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    This is informative in two ways, one being the history of dead musicians, the other that not all demons fuck with you in some demonic way with random pentagrams thrown in.

  • Commented on July 17, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    This is an excellent story with an amazing idea behind all of it. I’ve shared this story with all my good friends and even my own mother loves this read. It’s about time someone made a story about the infamous “27 Club”. Good job on a delicious pasta!

  • Commented on March 30, 2014 at 12:34 am

    That is just fucked

  • Commented on May 27, 2014 at 1:57 am

    Makes you think.
    Good job.

  • KinYamamoto
    Commented on February 6, 2015 at 4:49 am

    Nice chat with the demon.. wonder how it felt

  • Commented on April 14, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    I don’t know about this one… it wasn’t bad but wasn’t good so I’m not going to rate it.

  • Commented on June 18, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    Well that was enlightening. 8/10 breads.

  • Commented on October 18, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    Short. Suspenseful. Great! I loved it! Great Pasta!

  • Commented on October 18, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    loved it

  • Commented on March 29, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    I really liked this. It made me think about all that, and my family actually runs in the music buisness. Mom and dad are musicians, and they basically said that its a hard fame buisness. But considering how all the kids at my school just shrug off most bullies, I always felt that just couldn’t be it. Haters in the crowd aren’t usually as loud as the fans, right? It sent a shiver down my spine when I realized this is a suprisingly good theory. Good job, 9/10, just because I’m not sure if the person they’re talking to is going to make a deal or not.

  • Commented on July 5, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    Enjoyed this very much. Nice twist. Well written. A lovely breeziness that enhances the creep factor

  • Commented on November 6, 2016 at 11:34 am

    Is it real

  • Commented on November 11, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    Loved it!! Keep writing!!!!

  • Commented on April 7, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    The daemon seems nice I might decome friends with him if he existed

  • Commented on April 7, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    I wasn’t expecting the “27 Club” to be a subject of one of these stories.

  • Commented on April 30, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    Loved this. The narrator is a very likable character despite introducing himself as a demon. The story is well written and shows a lot of reasearch and effort went into writing it. And the age detail sent chills up my spine… I’m turning 27 in about 4 months you see… :O 5/5 stars, going to check now to see if you’ve written more 🙂

Leave a Comment

6 − one =

Leave Feedback / Report Glitch