Electrons excite me. Perhaps that is why I took so readily to computers. By the age of 13 I had cobbled together my first computer from the odd bits leftover from the old computers of friends and family. The rush of creation and experimentation that I felt that day has never been matched, but my experiments are getting closer to recapturing that glory.

The issue of any computer is that it is always in the process of becoming outdated. There are always limits on what technology can achieve. This is why my work is so important, I figured out that the best way to make a computer that didn’t need to be upgraded, that had few limits, was to harness the processing power of the living human mind. In particular, I harnessed yours.

Peeling back your scalp was the easy part; a circular incision prepared the skin to peel with one swift tug. When the drill met resistance I feared my tools were inadequate for my vision, but that crimson gush of blood and mental ichor provided reassurance. Don’t try to speak on my account, I fear this grey, slithy mound here may have been important for that – necessary even. Each probe and connection slid into place among the raw ridges of your untapped mind with only a hint of disagreement. Judging by your bright, undulating crevasses I suspect you were an extremely intelligent person once.

Excellent, I’d hate to be forced to upgrade again soon.